Vacation Destination: Highway to Hell
by wifeymcwiferson
Summary: Sam wants a vacation and Dean's not cooperating; Sam plans one without Dean's help and now Dean faces the consequences of Sam's decision to strike out for some family fun. We've got Cas in the backseat, Sam terrified to let Dean drive, and Dean-well, if he can't get Cas to rescue him, he'll make it hell on Earth! Based on a larping adventure with the WinJennster Family!
1. Vegetable Drawer Secrets

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of SPN, like the rest of you. But I do have some very nice reviews I like to think are mine. Yay!**

**My deepest apologies for getting side tracked on this story while being mid story on Circus Fever, I always told myself I would ALWAYS finish one before starting another, but THIS WAS AN EMERGENCY!**

**Author's Note: This story is for Winjennster, because she's about to journey into the depths of hell to procure a very specific type of merit bage. Love it people, cause there is no one who could portray our Dean like Winjennster. Carry on! And carry a big stick…..**

Bobby walked into the dimly lit kitchen to find Sam pouring over paperwork.

Not a book, but brightly colored, high gloss pamphlets. Sam looked up at him, guilt and shame on his face as he scooped the papers back into a pile in the middle of the table.

Bobby sighed and poured himself a cup of coffee before settling down at the table across from Sam. "You've made up your mind then," Bobby stated. It wasn't a question; it was a hard, ugly truth.

Sam ran a hand nervously through his shaggy hair and replied, "Yeah, I think so."

"He ain't going to go for this easily, I hope you know that," Bobby said as a slight grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. "You have a plan?"

"You think it's possible to get him into the car willingly," Sam asked quietly. He didn't want to wake Dean. It was past midnight and he had slipped out of their room to take another read through the details, wanting some time to formulate a plan without worrying that Dean would put a loaded pistol to his head.

"You know any hoodoo? Cause he isn't going to go willingly, even for you," Bobby said with a chuckle. "What about some rope or handcuffs? Maybe some tranquilizers or something."

"You want me to drug him," Sam asked with a small laugh. "He knew this was coming."

"He knew it was possible-although highly unlikely-it would be like getting ghost sickness twice," Bobby replied. "And it's not like you gave him much choice-"

"Not true, Bobby!" Sam stated. "I gave him plenty of choices; he just refused to be reasonable about this. We need some time off."

"And this is your solution," Bobby snorted into his coffee. "You're braver than I give you credit for. Or just downright insane."

"Bobby! I'm not wrong about this," Sam argued. "He's been pushing himself for a while now. Hunting like there's no tomorrow, trolling the internet at all hours, I even caught him working out the other day, and-Christ-he even went into a Walmart. You know him-he hates Walmart!"

Bobby's eyes grew wide as he took another gulp of coffee. "That does sound serious. He always said he'd never take the Impala into the Walmart parking lot, something it being the hellmouth of all car door dings," Bobby replied.

Sam nodded as he gathered up the glossy pamphlets and stuffed them back into the folder.

"Out of curiosity, where the hell you been hiding those," Bobby asked he as he motioned to the folder.

"Vegetable drawer in the fridge," Sam replied with a small smile. "The one guaranteed place he'd never think to look."

Bobby laughed and got up from the table. "Well, you better get some sleep. You'll have a long drive tomorrow, if you can even get him into the car," Bobby said.

"Yeah, probably should get some sleep. He's going to be difficult about this," Sam replied as shoved the folder back under the bag of romaine in the fridge.

"Good luck. Let me know if he shoots you," Bobby said. "Maybe I'll just keep the first aid kit on hand until you boys leave. Just in case."

Sam was impossibly quiet as he tiptoed back into the small room he and Dean always shared at Bobby's house. It was a small room, barely big enough for the two full size beds. Sam was really too tall for the bed, but the couch was downstairs and Dean would worry if Sam was gone when he woke up. It was easier to just sleep sideways than to know that Dean would get up during the night to check on him.

His eyes were just slipping closed when he heard it; someone clearing their throat. Sam was almost hopeful it was some fugly he could just fight off, but he knew he wasn't that lucky. It was Dean.

"Did you decide," Dean asked aloud.

"On what," Sam asked innocently, glad that the lamp was off. Dean would see right through him.

"You said we were going on some kind of vacation, which personally-if you want to go roam some hippie dippy salad farm somewhere, more power to you-but I'm fine," Dean stated firmly. "I'll stay here while you go questing for higher quality hair products."

"No," Sam snapped. "You agreed to this. You were given ample opportunity to help make the plans, you bailed on me. Now you're stuck with whatever I choose."

"No! I gave you plenty of choices-Chicago for one-and then there's always the Grand Canyon, or the bunny ranch that I read about in Busty Asian Beauties, hell-I'd even be happy with a tour of the Mrs. Smith pie factory," Dean argued defensively.

"Dean, those places aren't really vacations destinations," Sam countered.

"They are for me," Dean retorted. "I don't want to do some lame ass organic berry picking!"

Sam laughed into the darkness. "We're not going to the berry farm. Or salad farm. I used an actual vacation planner," Sam said.

"Was she at least hot," Dean asked. This conversation was beginning to frustrate him.

"Um—no, _**Chris**_, was not hot. Cause Chris is a _**man**_," Sam replied as he flipped his pillow over. "Don't worry. I have his guarantees this will be the best vacation we've ever had."

Dean snorted. "We've never taken a vacation Sam," Dean said. "So, your pal Chris, could have just sold us a one way ticket to hell. Or worse—some stomach flu infested cruise liner."

"Shut up and go to sleep Dean," Sam ground out. "We have a long drive tomorrow."

"Will you at least tell me where we're going," Dean demanded. "I'd like to know in case I want to sit this one out."

"No. Just know that it's going to be fun and that once upon a time ago as kids we wanted to go," Sam said. "So shut up and go to sleep."

Silence fell over the room and Sam was just slipping into sleep when he heard Dean clear his throat again.

"Is it-"

"Dean! Shut the hell up and go to sleep," Sam exclaimed. "I'm not kidding!"

**Ok. So this chapter was wayyyyy longer than I thought it would be. **

**So give me your thoughts! Please leave a review! **


	2. Celestial Hitchhiking

**Disclaimer: I still haven't gotten any SPN stock or anything. Bad broker-bad! **

**Please remember to leave a review! **

Sam was trying very hard to keep himself from drawing his weapon. Dean was deliberately slowing them down, using every excuse he could think of to delay their departure from Bobby's house. Sam on the other hand, had been packed since dawn.

"Dean, get in the car," Sam said calmly. "Bobby said there's no job for us right now, so let's just hit the road already."

"You know how quickly a job can come up," Dean argued as he slowly poured himself his fifth cup of coffee. He wasn't going without a fight. "And we need to be available when it does, and it doesn't get any more available than being _right here_. Bobby might need us for something."

"Don't drag me into this, boy," Bobby sputtered into his own coffee. "I knew this was coming. I've got a few other hunters ready to take any jobs that pop up."

"What about the car," Dean stated, suddenly changing tactics.

"What about the car," Sam demanded, starting to lose his patience.

"Needs an oil change," Dean said smartly with a triumphant grin.

"You did it two days ago, when you thought I was at the library," Sam stated as he firmly set his empty coffee cup into the sink. "So stop being an ass and get into the car."

Dean looked at Bobby for support, giving him what he thought was his most pitiful 'help me' face. Bobby caught his eye and jerked his head towards Sam before saying, "Better get your stuff, Dean. He might drag you out of here kicking and screaming; and if I were you, I'd want to walk out of here with more dignity than that."

Dean sighed and threw his hands up into the air. "Fine! Fine! You can both be a pain in my ass," Dean grumbled loudly as he left the table and stomped upstairs.

"You have a plan for this," Bobby asked.

"For his bitchy mode," Sam asked. "Yeah, a full flask with his name on it and then hopefully a nap in the backseat."

"Good idea," Bobby said.

Getting Dean into the car was more difficult than Sam had planned on. Dean had trudged out to the car, duffel bag in hand and refused to get in.

"Dean," Sam warned as he held the door open.

"I want to drive," Dean said with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No! You don't even know where we're going. Get in or I will take the Impala and leave you here," Sam replied as he jingled the keys in his hand. "And I will take her through every Walmart parking lot I can find between us and our destination."

"I have a few demands," Dean stated firmly.

Sam sighed and tried to reframe from beating his head against the car. "Like what," Sam asked.

"I get to pick the music," Dean replied.

"Like always," Sam snorted derisively.

"And I want peanut M&Ms and junk food for the road without any nagging from you. My arteries, my business," Dean said slowly as he struggled to think of something Sam would baulk at doing.

Sam shook his head and said, "Okay fine. Anything else, Dean?"

"I want….the right to make more demands as I think of them," Dean said as he chucked his bag into the trunk.

"And if I refuse to give into those demands, I guess you can always walk back to Bobby's," Sam said as Dean climbed into the passenger seat with a deep set frown.

"Bobby, call with anything. We can turn back at any time," Dean called out as he gave Bobby the international 'call me' sign with a begging look.

Bobby chuckled and called out, "You boys have fun and don't kill each other." He stood on the porch until the Impala was out of sight before heading back into the house for some much needed peace and quiet.

The drive out of Sioux City was silent, Sam driving while a small smile tugged at his mouth. They were going on a vacation, and not some lame vacation, an honest to God great vacation. He glanced over at Dean, who was leaning against the window with his eyes closed. He wasn't asleep and Sam was slightly curious why Dean would rather just hide out behind closed eyelids than argue with him.

Sam was pulling onto the on-ramp when he took a casual glance in the rearview mirror and nearly crashed the car.

"Cas," Sam yelled out in surprised as he haphazardly pulled onto the interstate, horns honking all round him. "Would you please not do that!"

Castiel looked at him in the mirror and asked, "Why would my sudden materialization into the car cause you concern, Sam? I've done it many times without incident while you are the one who has come close to wrecking the car. Perhaps Dean should be driving."

Dean turned to look at Cas and gave him the customary nod of acknowledgement. "How's it going Cas," Dean asked. "You have a job for us? Cause we are available."

"Dean, that is a very uncustomary offer from you; as you frequently despise any orders from Heaven," Cas replied, his voice monotone.

Sam's realization hit him hard. "Cas, how did you find us," he asked; his shoulders squared and tense. "I thought we were off the heavenly radar."

"You are hidden from Heaven's eyes, yes," Castiel replied. "There is no cause for concern."

Sam glanced over at Dean; he was being unusually quiet although Sam could detect a slight smirk growing on his face.

"Dean! Did you pray for Cas to rescue you?!" Sam almost yelled.

"I must admit, Dean, I do not see cause for alarm. You seem to be in no physical peril," Castiel stated; not understanding why Sam was experiencing frustration and cardiac palpitations.

"I can't believe you Dean," Sam said as he angrily gunned the engine.

"Sam, is my presence causing you discomfort," Castiel asked. "Would you prefer that I leave?"

Sam sighed and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "No Cas, it's fine," he muttered. "Dean's just acting like a child."

"I must admit I am curious about where you are headed. You do not seem to be in the typical rush to get somewhere," Castiel stated. "Dean, what is this emergency you were so adamant about?"

Sam snorted and shook his head. "Yeah, Dean, what's the emergency?"

Dean shot Castiel a smoldering look over his shoulder before saying, "Cas, I am being taken against my will on a vacation. I thought my instructions were pretty darn simple. You were supposed to just beam me out of the car and drop me back at Bobby's."

"I didn't see the particular need and due to the concern it would cause your brother, I thought it best to consult you for more information," Castiel said. "Sam, would you like me to remove Dean from the car at this time?"

"No. And don't listen to him Cas," Sam replied. "He's just upset about having to go on vacation."

"I was unaware that hunters take breaks from their work," Castiel said.

"Exactly! They don't," Dean exclaimed. "We shouldn't be going."

"Dean shut up! And Cas, we are going on vacation," Sam said again.

"Where are you going for this vacation," Castiel asked.

"Not going to say, it's a surprise," Sam said.

"Would it not be easier to just let me transport you to your destination in an instant," Castiel asked curiously.

"Cas! I don't know where I'm going, but I do know I don't want to be constipated when I get there," Dean replied.

"How long will this drive take using your conventional methods," Castiel asked as he glanced at Sam.

"Two days if we drive twelve hours each day," Sam replied.

"Sam, come on, we can drive that in a day. We'll just take turns at the wheel," Dean complained.

"No Dean! It's a vacation! Not a race. I want to sleep, in a bed and be able to take a shower," Sam exclaimed. "We're spending two days on the road. End of story."

"Fine," Dean snapped as he shoved his jacket against the window and leaned against it, closing his eyes.

They road in silence for an hour before Dean woke up, he glanced in the back and jumped slightly when he realized Castiel was still sitting in the backseat.

"Pull over," Dean said as he stretched.

"Dude, we've only been on the road for like an hour," Sam said.

"Hey! I had a whole pot of coffee before we left," Dean exclaimed. "Pull over or else!"

Sam sighed as he pulled over at the next exit and drove to a gas station. "Be back in sec," Dean said as he climbed out of the car. He walked into the small store and headed for the bathroom. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and chuckled. He smiled almost maliciously as he dialed the number he had found in Sam's phone.

He waited for the ringing to stop and told the young woman on the other end of the line, "I'd like the voicemail for Chris, vacation planner extraordinaire please."

As the phone clicked over and beeped, he cleared his throat before saying, "Yeah, Chris, this is Dean Winchester, Sam's brother. He told me you arranged this little trip to hell of ours and I just wanted to let you know that if I find that I drove for _two days_ for some crappy cruise or water park, I will hunt you down and destroy you. Tootles!"

Sam watched as Dean strolled out of the store, bag of junk food hanging from his arm. Dean was smiling as he handed Castiel a brightly colored bag.

"What is this Dean," Castiel asked he turned the package over in his hands.

"Gummy worms, try them out," Dean explained.

"I was unaware that you approved of eating insects," Castiel said awkwardly.

Sam laughed as he pulled the car out of the parking lot. "They're not real insects Cas, they're candy. Just sugar and gelatin and some other crap," Sam explained. "Try them out."

Sam and Dean listened to Castiel try to open the bag for several minutes before Dean just reached back and pulled it out of Castiel's hands. He ripped it open with his teeth before handing it to back to Castiel. Sam watched Cas in the rearview mirror as he held one of the neon colored gummy worms up and examined it. It was a good five minutes before Cas decided to put it in his mouth. Sam was tempted to laugh as Castiel's expression moved from startled, too puzzled, and then somewhere near euphoric.

"These worms are quite enjoyable for consumption," Cas stated as he pulled another from the bag.

Another hour of loud Led Zeppelin passed before anyone spoke up.

"I have eaten all of my worms, Dean. And I have a question that perhaps one of you can answer," Castiel stated as he looked longingly into the empty gummy worm package.

"What's up Cas," Sam asked, wondering what he could possibly need.

"Are we there yet," Castiel asked.

**Okay. **

**How do you feeling about Castiel possibly tagging along for some of this adventure? Could be fun! **

**Please leave a review! I appreciate it!**


	3. Dean's Cake Hole Rule, for Beginners

**Disclaimer: I don't own SPN, but likewise they don't own this fantastically fun project of ours. **

**Revel in it people. Bask in it.**

"Christo," Dean muttered under his breath, watching Sam from the corner of his eye.

"Dude, I am _not possessed_. You have been enforcing the 'driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole' rule for literally years now," Sam said. "So when I do it, you decide to get all victimized? I've had control of the radio like _twice_ in my _entire_ life."

"Well, if your music choices didn't suck souls like a reaper at a train crash, maybe I'd let you pick the music more often," Dean spat. "Ever think about that?"

Sam sighed deeply and mumbled, "That you're nuts? Only like _all_ the time."

"Hey! I heard that," Dean snarked as he dug into his bag for more peanut M&Ms. He was on his third bag already, and not those little tiny bags meant to just tease you, but the monster sized bags.

"What is this rule," Castiel asked as he stared straight ahead. "I am unfamiliar with this 'cakehole' ruling of Dean's."

"It's just some stupid rule Dean made up so he could have tyrannical control of the music," Sam explained as he glanced in the rearview mirror. He was almost relieved to have someone to talk to other than grumpy Dean, although he was seriously starting to wonder if Castiel was going to stick around for the entire trip.

"We're nearly to the hotel, so help me look for the exit number," Sam said as he glanced at a passing road sign.

"Do we have to stop for the night," Dean whined. "I don't want to."

"Well, we are," Sam snapped. "I'm tired. I want a shower and some dinner before getting some sleep."

"I don't care Sam, I'd rather drive straight through," Dean argued for the fifth time since they had left Bobby's house that morning. "I don't want to spend the night in some flea bag motel."

"For once, it's a nice hotel," Sam stated firmly. "Chris was very clear about it; WIFI, HBO, a pool, the works. So shut up and don't ruin this for me."

Dean resumed pouting as Sam pulled the car onto the off-ramp. He hated Kentucky. Chris would be hearing about this for sure.

"Paducah," Dean exclaimed. "You can't be serious Sam! This is banjo country!"

"No, it's not, it is a nice town, on our route, and happens to have a decent motel," Sam spat back. "Suck it up Dean!"

"What is this sucking term that humans use. I hear it frequently used and have yet to understand it," Castiel asked from the backseat, which made Sam cringe.

"Well…Cas, it's a….Don't you have some other heavenly duty to take care of somewhere else," Sam asked as he turned the car towards their hotel. "You've been in the backseat all day."

"Yes, I have," Castiel confirmed. "I have learned a great deal. Such as that Dean snores when sleeping upright."

"I do not," Dean retorted.

"You do," Castiel repeated.

"No, I don't," Dean replied, his voice going up a decimal.

"Yes—"

"Hey," Sam shouted as he hit the brakes. "You can both knock it off! Now, or so help me—"

"You'll what? Pull the car over?" Dean snapped aloud. "I'd love to see that!"

"Both of you, stuff it," Sam said, his voice heavy from frustration. "It's been a long day and we all need a break. Can we just get into the room without anyone killing each other?"

"Sam—"

"Cas! It's just an expression, no one is killing anybody," Sam replied, wondering if he should just drive them into oncoming traffic.

They made it to the hotel without another word being exchanged. Sam parked the car and grabbed his duffel bag before heading into the lobby, his face tense.

"I though vacations were supposed to be relaxing," Castiel remarked. "Sam looks very un-relaxed."

"They aren't relaxing. That's just what schmucks say to themselves about it," Dean mused aloud. "It's a royal pain in the ass. And cost a fortune."

"Do you think Sam will be offended if I continue to accompany you," Castiel asked.

"Go for it," Dean said with a mischievous grin. "He'd probably love it."

"Most excellent," Castiel stated from the backseat, a split second before he materialized outside of the car.

Dean jumped when he saw Castiel suddenly standing outside of his door. Dean shoved against the door, stepping out of the car and stretching. "Cas! Don't do that," Dean exclaimed. "It's weird."

"It seemed the fastest way to exit the vehicle," Castiel stated.

Dean pulled his duffel bag from the trunk and hurried after Sam.

"We're in room 212," Sam said as he handed Dean a room key. "I call first dibs on the shower."

They walked silently to their room; Sam was startled to see Castiel already waiting inside the room for them. "Cas! Please don't do that," Sam said with a groan. "Creeps me out. Use the door like the rest of us."

"But I am not like the rest of you," Castiel argued.

"Whatever, just stay out of the bathroom while I get a shower," Sam said as he grabbed a handful of clothes from his bag and hustled into the bathroom.

Dean tossed his bag onto the floor and dropped onto his bed. He had to admit, it was the softest mattress he had slept on in some time. And the pillows—wow, he might have to steal one when they leave. Or maybe even two.

He grabbed the remote and starting skipping channels, stopping on one, smiling when he realized that Sam might be pissy when he realized Dean could watch soft porn in their room. He left the television on and cranked the volume up a little bit. Sam would shit a brick.

Dean smiled to himself as he dug through his bag and pulled out a plastic shopping bag and headed for the attached balcony that overlooked the pool. Man, Chris hadn't skimped on the hotel; but hey—it was still in Kentucky and that was about as unforgiveable as it could get.

Castiel followed him to the balcony and watched as Dean pulled a cigar from the bag.

"I was unaware you partook of this particular human habit," Castiel said as he watched Dean light the end. He stepped closer and observed the subtle smoke Dean expelled from his mouth.

"I don't much. Very rarely. And if I was really going to do it on a regular basis, I'd get something good. Like a Cuban or something," Dean said as he perused the pool area. No hot chicks.

"So why do it then," Castiel asked, stepping even closer.

"Cas, you get any closer and you'll be able to puff the other end. Back it up or get your own," Dean warned. "Personal boundaries, remember; we talked about this."

Cas frowned and took a small step back.

"This is a Philly blunt, cheap crap. But the smell is horrific and it'll drive Sam nuts," Dean stated as he opened the door to the room and blew a lungful of smoke into the room before closing the door back and returning to the railing to watch the pool.

"You seem determined to upset Sam, I don't understand. Is taking someone on a vacation considered a hostile act," Castiel asked; confusion on his face.

"Vacations are for other people, not us," Dean replied as he shook his head. "People with minivans and two point five kids. And a yappy little dog."

Dean continued to puff on the cigar, opening the door to the room every few minutes to ensure that the smell would be enough to annoy Sam.

Sam was in heaven. Well, he was minutes from stepping out of a heavenly shower. That was the great thing about the hotel, he could use all the hot water he wanted and Dean couldn't be mad at him. Give him a never ending supply of hot water and Sam was fairly easy to please.

Two things registered in Sam's brain when he stepped out of the bathroom. Someone was having sex while someone else was smoking a cigar.

He rounded the corner, expecting to see—he didn't even know what to expect-when he saw that the television on.

"Dean," Sam barked as he stood in front of the television. "We are not watching that."

"Oh come on Sammy," Dean said with a wink at Castiel. "You said this trip is about having fun; this is me having fun."

"Okay Dean," Sam said, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "You don't find it just a tad perverse to watch soft porn with an angel? And Cas, seriously man, don't let him ruin you."

Castiel looked confused and was about to speak when Dean caught his eye and just shook his head, effectively cutting him off and confusing him even more.

"And why does it smell like some stank ass cigar in here," Sam asked, sniffing the air. "This is a non-smoker's room."

"No clue Sam," Dean lied as he grabbed his own clothes from his duffel bag. "I'm going to hit the shower. Go get some dinner, will ya?"

"I did all the driving today," Sam started to argue.

"Okay, toss me the keys," Dean said eagerly.

Sam was about to place them in Dean's hand when he tighten his grip on them, "You're going to make a break for it, aren't you?"

Dean cocked his head to one side and smiled coyly, holding up two fingers, and said, "Scout's honor?"

Sam rolled his eyes and threw Dean's clothes at him. "Fine, jerk, I'll go and get dinner. You hit the shower."

"I would like to procure dinner," Castiel suddenly said. Sam and Dean both paused and exchanged a small glance at each other before looking at Castiel.

"What," Sam asked. "I mean-do you even know where to get food?"

"Sam, I have observed you and Dean for quite some time," Castiel explained. "I would like to experience the act of procuring dinner."

"Wait a minute dude," Dean said, holding his hand up in a 'stop right there' gesture. "You can't pick dinner up. You can't just 'poof' yourself into a restaurant, you'll scare people. And you don't have any money, and you can't be stealing food, you're an angel. You'll probably get your wings pinned for that."

"Petty human crimes do not alert my superiors," Castiel stated. "Alright, Sam, you will drive me to the restaurant. And you will provide me with money. But I wish to place the request."

"You wanna order it," Sam asked, his amusement obvious. "Fine, let's head for the car."

"There is a large bus of touring Asians headed for the restaurant for the dinner special. We must hurry," Castiel said as he suddenly placed a finger on Sam's forehead. Sam and Castiel disappeared instantly, leaving Dean laughing hysterically.

Fifteen minutes later, Castiel was experiencing total awe. The sheer number of options was incredible, and Sam was waiting for him to decide.

"Cas," Sam asked calmly. "You want some help?"

"No Sam. I can do this," Castiel said as he studied the pictures closely. He could do this, he had been watching them eat for some time; green stuff for Sam, any kind of meat for Dean.

"Are you sure," Sam asked again. He glanced at the teenagers behind them and smiled apologetically.

"Yes Sam. I am capable of great battle. This should be quite easy," Cas said as he suddenly looked up at the acne covered teenager who was waiting to take his order.

"We will have two of the large pizzas," Castiel said curtly.

"What toppings you want," the teenager asked, disinterested.

"On one, every kind of meat you can provide. Bacon especially," Castiel stated.

"And the other," the teenager asked again.

"Vegetables," Castiel stated. "Green things."

"Wait Cas," Sam said as he leaned over the counter. "Get ham and pineapple."

"But Sam, you are the herbivore to Dean's carnivore," Castiel argued. "I have observed this for years. I am not wrong."

"Right, tell you what, we'll get a salad to go with it, okay," Sam said as he awkwardly patted Castiel's shoulder.

"As you say," Castiel stated, wondering why Sam was attempting to placate him. "We'll have a ham and pineapple pizza. And a salad."

"Yeah, I heard," the teenager said with an eye roll.

"Yes, as you have no auditory defects you should have; however, I am the one officially placing the order," Castiel stated.

"Whatever," the teenager said. "It'll be twenty-two fifty."

Cas stood still for a second before Sam handed him several paper bills which he passed to the teenager behind the counter. The teenager handed him back a few coins and said, "It'll be about twenty minutes."

Castiel stood in place, staring the young man until Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him to the door.

"Sam, I provided him with money and a food order, why didn't he give me the food," Castiel asked, confused.

"We have to wait while they cook it," Sam said. "Let's go pick up a six pack at the gas station."

"I will wait here," Castiel said as he intently watched the pizza dough being thrown into the air.

"You'll be okay on your own," Sam asked worriedly.

"Sam, I am an angel," Castiel said as though that was good enough.

Sam shook his head and headed for the car.

When Sam returned for Cas, he was standing on the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets.

"You okay Cas," Sam asked from the car.

"I require more money, I returned to the counter and asked for something I saw someone else getting," Castiel stated as he gazed into the distance. "It was quite beautiful."

"Um—okay," Sam said as he handed Castiel another twenty.

Castiel disappeared into the pizzeria and returned with an armload of boxes. The ride back to the hotel was almost painful, the smells overwhelming wonderful.

Sam insisted they walk back to the room on foot; and Castiel insisted he be allowed to carry the food.

Dean was amazed to see that Castiel had chosen pizza. "What happened to the dinner special and the Asians," Dean asked.

"They had a reservation and Sam refused to let me skip over them in line," Castiel explained as he handed Dean a pizza box.

Dean opened the box and nearly gasped. "What is this," he asked.

"Is it wrong," Castiel asked with a frown as he looked over Dean's shoulder into the box.

"No, dude, this is so…..right. Look at this! Sam! There is bacon on my pizza! Cas, I think we just found your superpower," Dean said as he pulled a slice from the box. "You can order my pizza any day of the week."

Castiel sat and watched them eat until Sam made him try a bite. Castiel was on his second slice when Dean asked, "So what's in the square box?"

Castiel lifted the lid to reveal a large chocolate cake. "The man behind the counter said it is a lava cake," Castiel said. "However, I am quite certain it contains chocolate and not molten rock."

"Cas, I think you're officially getting a taste for what's good," Dean said as he lustily stared at the cake.

Dean ducked out onto the balcony and dialed up Chris' office. When he got to Chris' voicemail, Dean said, "_Chris, Dean Winchester here. I don't care how fluffy these pillows are, you're the reason I'm standing in Kentucky's banjo country. Better watch your back_."

It was late when Sam and Dean finally crashed into their own beds. Castiel was standing on the balcony, observing the night time swimmers and city lights around them. He knew he should be getting back to Heaven, but he knew that once he left the Winchesters, he'd lose track of them again. From his jacket pocket, he pulled one of the glossy pamphlets that he had 'borrowed' from Sam; glancing almost guiltily at Sam's sleeping figure. He unfolded the paper; it was colorful and filled with smiling faces and maps.

He read both sides carefully, not understanding what it meant. The offer of a magically experience didn't typically make Sam and Dean relax, usually it made them research and kill things. He shoved the paper back into his pocket, vowing that he would find out if this magical kingdom was a threat to Heaven, or just to Sam's wallet, as Dean had declared.

**Okay. Think it over. Leave a review if you want.**

**To the guest who hates it when I ask for reviews: close your eyes for a second-**

**Please be kind and leave a review. I may be writing this story, but it's currently happening for the fanfic writer, Winjennster, and I'm sure she and her peoples would get a kick out of hearing what you think of her road trip. Sam is by her side; Cas in her backseat. Make her smile! **


	4. Kingdom of an Overgrown Rodent

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural, except for the ghost that lives in my mechanic's room. **

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, they truly make my day! Glad everyone is giving the thumbs up for Castiel in this story! Thanks everyone! **

**What truly gives this story it's pizzazz, are the details from the actual trip, which are being offered up by Winnjennster. I haven't been to this destination in years, good to have someone on the inside! Keep it coming, Jennster! This is destined to be a classic bit of humor!**

"I'm starved," Dean exclaimed as the Impala flew past yet another road sign making offers of delicious deep fried items and cold beer. "Sam, we've been on the road for hours. Pull over!"

Sam hated to admit it, but he was starved as well; but Dean had attempted to sleep right up until the check out time; leaving the bed only after Sam threatened to have Castiel beam him right into the car, with or without his precious duffel bag. Dean had been grumbling ever since.

"Sam, I have completed the task you provided to me," Castiel said from the backseat. He looked as he always did, the trench coat and tie making his appearance in the car even more unnerving for Sam.

"Wait, Cas, I only told you about that like fifteen minutes ago," Sam said, his voice torn between confusion and awe. "Are you sure you got them all?"

"Yes Sam. I am certain. I located each letter of your alphabet while reading the license plates we have passed," Castiel started firmly. "If you are inquiring into if I cheated, I did not."

"So much for road games," Dean pouted. "Superman back there has won every game."

"Well, maybe if you'd actually try to provide some decent competition, he wouldn't," Sam muttered as he glanced at Castiel in the rearview mirror.

"Seriously Sam, pull this thing over for lunch or I will eat that ancient pack of stale crackers in the compartment. It won't be pretty," Dean stated, his face daring Sam to ignore him.

"Fine, our lunch stop is up ahead anyways," Sam replied as he turned onto the off-ramp.

"Our lunch stop? You really have our meals plotted out along the way," Dean scoffed. "You're like some insane vacation Nazi."

"Chris told me about it," Sam said as he maneuvered the car through an intersection. "Sounded right up your alley."

"My alley? You and Chris have some heart-to-heart discussions while planning this trip or what," Dean teased.

"Dean—"

"Stop talking Sam! I don't want to know what you two dudes talked about while you looked for bikini hot spots," Dean replied, holding his hand up to Sam to stop him from talking.

As Sam pulled the car up to the restaurant, Dean's jaw hit the dashboard from awe.

"Dude, what is this heavenly place," Dean asked as he gazed hungrily though the windshield.

"South of the Border," Sam replied, his voice smug as he stepped out of the car.

"Dean, I am fairly certain this establishment has no affiliation with Heaven," Castiel stated, confused by Dean's comment.

Dean climbed clumsily out of the car, his eyes taking in the scene before him.

"There is a giant burger on the roof Sam," Dean stated, his mouth beginning to water from the very sight of large, fiberglass statuesque food. "And look—they have a statue of you!"

Sam turned to look where Dean was pointing and rolled his eyes. "Dean, that's a statue of a moose."

"Yeah, it's a good likeness," Dean said as he headed for the door to the restaurant. "Castiel, you coming or what?"

"I am uncertain," Castiel said as he shuffled from one foot to the other.

"Why," Sam asked curiously.

"I do not need to eat and I do not wish to attract attention," Castiel said.

"You'll attract more attention by sitting in the car," Sam replied. "Just order something small. You don't have to eat it."

"Hey, we could be finishing this conversation over a basket of fries. Or pie. Hey, you think they have pie here," Dean asked he suddenly took off into the restaurant.

Their late lunch was uneventful except for Castiel eating the dozen habanero bites Dean had ordered for him. After a short explanation of why Dean would be impressed, Sam hustled them back into the car. An hour down the road, Dean reached for the radio; Sam let him get an inch from the knob before he reached out and smacked his hand away.

"Sam, come on man, this is torture," Dean complained as he slumped against the door.

"This is not torture, this a called dead air. Nothing but the sound of the road, the car, and your complaining," Sam said with a determined smile.

"So when are you going to tell me where we're going," Dean asked. "I'm guessing we're over halfway by now."

"Still have like eight hours to go Dean," Sam said with a sigh.

"Dude, that mean we won't get there until like….midnight," Dean said.

"You can count, good for you," Sam snapped. "If you had gotten up at 8am when I told you to, we would be getting there a heck of a lot sooner."

"It's my vacation too, Sammy," Dean argued. "I should be allowed to sleep in if I want too."

"Well, looks like you can 'sleep in' the car until we get to our check in then," Sam snapped again.

Hours later as they sped over the Florida state line, Dean started to grow suspicious.

"Are we headed for the beach," he asked, wondering if he packed anything to swim in.

"No," Sam replied tiredly. To be honest, he had no idea how Dean had stayed behind the wheel for many long days over the years without causing permanent nerve damage to his ass; Sam was starting to wonder if feeling would ever return.

"A cruise ship," Dean asked worriedly. "You know I don't wear shorts."

"It's not a cruise ship. No boats," Sam said as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "We might just have to get a room for the night and finish the drive tomorrow."

"Or-you could let me drive," Dean offered.

"And wake up to find you've Shanghaied our vacation," Sam said. "No thanks."

"I could assist," Castiel offered from the backseat.

"What?!—No, you're not driving my baby," Dean said as he shot a furious look towards Castiel. "You can not drive. Ever."

"Jimmy did have a driver's license. I possess his abilities," Castiel stated firmly.

"Um—no Cas. Driving around in Jimmy's meatsuit does not qualify you as a driver. Besides, you don't possess his abilities to monitor traffic flow, handle aggressive drivers, and the last and most importantly: you do not have my permission or blessing to drive my car," Dean argued. "Just thinking about you driving my baby makes me tense."

"Fine," Castiel said. "Dean, perhaps you could relax with the assistance of one of your cigars."

"What? Dean, what is he talking about," Sam snapped from the driver's seat. "Have you been smoking cigars?! You know how ridiculous and irresponsible that is."

"Thanks for that Cas," Dean snapped sarcastically at Castiel.

"You are quite welcome Dean," Castiel said from his safe haven in the backseat.

"That was sarcasm Cas," Dean snapped again.

"Oh. I was uncertain. Did you not wish for Sam to know you were the one smoking a cigar at the hotel last night," Castiel asked innocently.

"Dean! You are so busted," Sam said angrily as he glanced at Dean. "I can't believe you!"

"What I can't believe is that my angel just ratted me out to my little brother," Dean argued aloud. "Cas, isn't there some kind of 'angel confidentiality clause' in effect between us?"

"None that I am aware of," Castiel said.

"Great. Just great," Dean muttered as he hunched down in his seat.

They road in silence for a few minutes before Sam pointed to a car they were approaching.

"Dean, check it out," Sam said with a smile.

"What the hell is that thing," Dean asked as he shifted in his seat to get a better look.

Sam rolled his eyes. "It's a car. A Scion Xb to be specific," Sam explained.

"I can see that. But dude, check out the window," Dean said he stared at the car.

The purple car was keeping up with them, flying down the interstate, it's 'Winchester Racing Bros.' sticker gleaming in the fading sunset. There were stickers all over the outside, and the inside looked like it was packed to the hilt.

"Hey! Maybe it's some more cousins," Dean said. "Get closer."

"Seriously," Sam asked, even though he gunned the engine and changed lanes to drive parallel to the purple car. "Check 'em out. See if they look like us."

Dean turned in his seat and gazed at the car. The driver was a woman with hot pink hair who was obviously singing aloud to the radio, cigar in her hand; while a frazzled looking man wearing a fedora was trying to fold a map in the passenger side seat. Dean glanced in the backseat; it was filled with kids, who by the looks of it were singing and pantomiming "Eye of the Tiger". Castiel was plastered to the rear window, trying to decipher what strange human custom was going on in the next car.

"Dude, I'm going to flag them down," Dean said he yanked open the glove compartment for the flashlight.

"What? Why," Sam asked curiously.

"Cause they look like they're having more fun over there than I'm having in here! I wanna ride with them. They have cigars, Eye of the Tiger, and fedoras, and stuff," Dean stated even as Sam slammed on the brakes and moved the car into another lane.

"Dean, you're not crashing some other family's vacations," Sam said as he frowned at Dean.

"You know what Sam," Dean snapped. "You suck. Wake me when we get to where ever the hell we're going."

"Dean, would it kill you to lighten up a little," Sam asked tiredly.

"It might," Dean muttered as he closed his eyes and laid back against the seat.

Sam drove for hours while Dean snored lightly. Castiel sat quietly in the backseat, never making a sound, even when Sam had to slam on the brakes and swerve across two lanes of traffic to get off at their exit. Sam was smiling as he saw the first interstate sign for their destination. Ever since he had been six and Dean had been ten, he had wanted to go there. John had mentioned it once, but it had been just another forgotten promise in a long line of them. Except that Sam had never forgotten it.

Dean woke up when the car slowed down and came to a stop at what looked like a toll booth. Dean closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep. The next toll booth had him curious, they never took toll roads.

Dean woke to the sound of a car door slamming, they had parked. In a parking lot. A huge parking lot.

Dean slowly got out of the car and stretched, looking around before laying eyes on a very tired Sam, who was sporting a smile that could outshine the sun. It immediately had Dean on edge.

"Where are we Sam," Dean asked, wondering if he should have packed more Holy water.

"Grab your stuff, we've got a little walk to the hotel," Sam said as he all but threw Dean's duffel bag at him. Dean caught it with a grunt.

"Hey, wait. We're not going in there without some gear," Dean argued, reaching for his favorite shotgun.

"Dean, you can't have any weapons in here," Sam said as he rolled his eyes. "In fact, we shouldn't even have the trunk load we have now."

Dean gazed around the parking lot, there were cars everywhere. It was nearly one in the morning and he didn't even care where they were, he just wanted a real bed to sleep in.

"Hey! Look," Sam said as he pointed across the parking lot. "It's the purple car!"

Dean turned and looked; it was indeed the Scion from the interstate. "See Sam, I could have just ridden with them and had some fun on this trip," Dean mumbled.

"Dean! Come on," Sam said as he took off up a path towards the hotel.

Dean took a closer look at the motel ahead of him, rubbing his eyes as he prayed he was seeing things.

"Disney World! Sam, I hate you," Dean called out as he tried to follow Sam. "Give me my keys. Now!"

"Nope," Sam called out with a laugh as he hauled ass to beat Dean to the door.

Moments later, Dean and Sam walked into the lobby, bags in hand; while Castiel followed behind. The late night staff was vacuuming the lobby, while others were refreshing large floral arrangements.

Sam walked to the counter and handed over his paperwork from Chris.

"Mr. Winchester, you have two other adults in your party, correct," the woman behind the counter asked.

"Yeah," Sam replied. "Although, 'adult' might be a bit of a stretch. More like petulant child. "

"Ah, well we can accommodate anyone with special needs," she said with a steady smile.

Dean glared at her before moving to look at brochures on a nearby table.

"Oh no, he's all there and everything, just a long drive," Sam said with a small laugh.

"Oh, sorry," she said with a small blushing smile. "And the name of your partner?"

"Um, my brother," Sam said as he looked over at Dean, wonder why this was going so wrong. "Dean."

"Oh, I assumed he was your brother, you look alike," she said with a laugh. "I meant him."

She gestured over his shoulder and he jumped when he was realized Castiel was standing so close they were practically sharing air.

"Oh. Right," Sam said with a mental groan. "This is our friend Cas."

She smiled as she handed over passes and room keys. "Your treehouse is all ready for you," she said. "Enjoy!"

"Yeah, right," Sam said as he grabbed his bag and tried to hustle Dean and Castiel away from the grinning clerk.

"Well, that was painful," Sam said he handed out room keys. "Come on, we all need some sleep."

Sam opened the door to their suite and whistled. "Okay, there are three rooms. Two have queen sized beds. Cas, you can have the couch or the third bedroom if you want. It's got bunk beds," Sam said as he headed for his own room.

"Bunk beds," Castiel asked. "What is that?"

"It's like one bed built over the other," Dean explained as he moved through the place, wondering if Sam had made a crossroads deal to pay for everything.

"But I don't need to sleep," Castiel said with a frown.

"Yep. I get that, but we do," Dean said.

"And there is only one of me," Castiel said. "Why should I have two beds?"

Dean rubbed a tired hand over his face and said, "Whatever Cas. Lay in one, or both, or neither one. I'm too tired to care right now. Just go watch television or something," Dean said as he moved to his room.

Dean dropped onto his bed and glanced down at the carpet, there were Mickey Mouse ear designs in the carpet. In fact, they were everywhere.

"I gonna gank Mickey Mouse," Dean mumbled tiredly as he turned off the lights.

**Okay, sorry for the delay. Hurt my arm yesterday and had a hard time typing this out. Hope you enjoy! Please remember to leave a review for me and WinJennster; this is a group effort project! **


	5. Of Men and Mojitos, and Then Add Batman

**Disclaimer: I don't own SPN or Disney; like I'd want to pay for their liability insurance anyways. **

**Author's Note: I hope you're enjoying this so far! I know I am! **** And a special shout-out to Chris, who unknowingly may have gotten snared into this long distance project of WinJennster and I; and is doing an unbelievable job of being 'Sam' on the other end of the text messages, giving me the Sam stance of Disney, to counteract Jen's stance as Dean. Go team Freewill! Keep up the texts!**

"Dean, let's go," Sam shouted from the hallway. "We need to get a move on. Up and at 'em!"

"Uuuuuuuuagh," Dean mumbled into his pillow. "Let me sleep Sam."

Sam opened his door with so much force that Dean thought he might have busted the hinges. "I'm serious Dean, get up!"

"Why? You already got me here, so I'm here, alright? I don't have to leave the room," Dean whined.

"Yes, you do," Sam said with a scowl. "Now get dressed. I don't want to miss the monorail into the park."

"Sam— does this really have to happen," Dean asked as he tried to throw the covers off. "I went to hell once already. Don't make me go!"

"Yep, you're going, so rise and shine," Sam said as he practically floated out of the room on a wave of euphoria.

Dean rubbed a hand over his tired face and stomped into the bathroom. He looked at his reflection. He looked like crap. He trudged to the shower and let the hot water work its magic.

Dean walked into the dining room and gazed around the room. It did indeed look like a tree house...probably the coolest tree house he's ever seen. Not that he'd tell Sam that, ever.

He was surprised when Cas appeared behind him, trench coat and tie in place as usual.

"Cas, you try out the bunk beds last night," Dean asked curiously.

"I did. It felt…strange to view the room for a horizontal position. I do not understand how humans tolerate it," Cas said with a frown. "It was quite uncomfortable."

"Ok, well then," Dean said with a shrug. "Guess you can cross that off your list."

"What list," Castiel asked, confused. "Is there a list? I am not aware of a list I am required to keep."

"Nothing. Never mind, Cas," Dean muttered as he shook his head.

He watched as Sam walked into the room; park map and sunglasses in hand, along with a large shopping bag that was bulging strangely. Sam was grinning like an idiot; Dean suddenly wondered how long Sam had been secretly coveting a trip to Disney. If the grin was any indication, it had been a long, long time.

"So where exactly are we going," Dean asked as he followed Sam and Castiel out of their own private tree house.

"HollyWood Studios," Sam replied. "Lots of good shows. Very interactive too. They allow people from the audience to participate in the stage shows. You'll like it."

"Eh, we'll see," Dean muttered. He wasn't convinced that this whole thing wasn't about to be the worst experience of his life, including that time he had gotten electrocuted. Or that other time he had been possessed by a Wendigo spirit. Or even that time he had accidentally bought a cursed knife from a thrift store.

"Stop whining Dean," Sam snapped.

"Whatever you are say, Sammy," Dean muttered. The ride into the park was quiet, no one talking to each other although Castiel was far too eager to read the map on the wall.

As they stepped into the park, Sam hustled them away from the crowd and pushed Dean and Castiel onto a bench. He grinned evilly as he reached into the shopping bag and pulled out three sets of Mickey Mouse ears. The look of horror on Dean's face was enough to make Sam chuckle.

"Rule number one of the vacation: Wear the ears. Rule number two: We stick together, no wandering off, especially you Cas," Sam said as he gently set Dean's ears in place on his head. Sam had even gone so far as to have their names embroidered onto the ears.

"Sam—

"Dammit, Dean, would you just relax and have fun for once! This is Disney World…the happiest place on earth! You aren't allowed to complain here," Sam said with a forced smile.

"Dammit, Sam! If I wanted to have fun, I'd have toured Mrs. Smith's pie factory! Or gotten the new issue of Busty Asian Beauties! But friggin Disney? Where's my flask," Dean snapped back as he yanked the ears from his head.

"Ok. I) Mrs. Smith pie factory is NOT a tourist destination! 2) You can't get porn here. And 3) You are so stressed out a psychiatrist could make a career out of you! Relax and just go with it! And put your damn ears on," Sam said. "Cas is wearing his!"

"Dude, you may be bigger than me, but you can't force me to wear them. So, no! I'm not wearing the friggin ears! And no porn?! Dude, that's it. Where's my keys," Dean said as he tried to grab the map from Sam's hand.

"Seriously Dean? Fine, don't wear the ears…be a jerk. And if you're that desperate for porn you have your stash in the trunk under the guns," Sam said as he yanked the map out of Dean's reach.

"Sam, fine! I'll wear the friggen ears if you'll stop being a bitchy Sasquatch—you're going to scare all the little kids! And if I want porn, you're going to make the mile long hike in this heat to the car! I hate Florida," Dean as he yanked his Mickey Mouse ears back onto his head with a grimace.

"Keep it up Dean and I will drag you to Cirque de Soleil," Sam with a glare.

"Try it clown boy! And don't you need to go wash your hair, Samantha? Can't believe you didn't bring your whole duffel bag of hair product," Dean said a fiery grin.

"Is there a reason these ears are required? Do they represent some sort of status," Castiel interrupted he adjusted his own Mickey Mouse ears. The trench coat and tie paired with his mouse ears made him look even more out of place.

"Yeah," Dean muttered. "Douche status, maybe."

"Dean," Sam snapped as he started towards some far off destination, the map in his hand making Dean nervous. Sam was going to be dangerous with that thing. The crowds were already in full force, a sea of people that moved in unpredictable ways. It was enough to make Dean nervous, although Castiel looked far more unnerved by it. Apparently, fast foot work was not something he had yet mastered.

As Sam joined the line for something about Indiana Jones, Dean rolled his eyes.

"Dude! Indiana Jones—minus the Nazis, we've done everything he's done," Dean stated. "Give me the map, I want to find a bar."

"Dean! We're going to this show," Sam said firmly as he gripped the map, his knuckles turning white.

"Who is this Indiana Jones," Castiel asked. "Is he a hunter?"

"Cas, you're going to love this," Sam promised. "Remember how we talked about a few movies you need to watch? Well, Indiana Jones is going to be on the top of that list."

"What?! No," Dean spat. "I already put Full Metal Jacket at the top of the list."

Castiel looked from one to the other, his face remaining passive. "The line is moving, should we be following these other people," Castiel asked. "This is most unsettling, this must be what cattle feel. Moving in great lines to be slaughtered."

"Exactly," Dean said as he frowned at Sam.

Twenty minutes later, they were all seats around a large arena which resembled a movie set.

And five minutes later, Dean disappeared for what they called 'Casting Call'. Castiel was immediately unnerved by Dean's sudden disappearance.

"Cas, he's okay. He's going to help with the show. He'll be on the stage in a minute," Sam said reassuringly. "Just watch."

"Are you certain," Castiel asked as he stared firmly at the open stage. "I could bring him back if you wish."

"No, Cas," Sam replied with a laugh. "Participating is what he should be doing. He needs to enjoy the vacation and relax. This is step one."

"As you say," Castiel replied.

As the show began, Dean stepped out onto the stage, wearing Middle Eastern garb, making Castiel confused. "Why is he not dressed like himself," he asked Sam.

"Shhh—watch the show Cas," Sam said as he motioned towards Dean. "See what happens."

Castiel watched intently, not wanting to miss what Sam was so adamant that he should see. Dean was indeed participating, although his movements were awkward and somewhat painful to watch. He kept adjusting the robe, causing him to bump into the other participants.

The show went on, Cas calling out for Dean at one point, making Dean blush a deep, deep crimson.

Sometime later Dean rejoined them, his face obviously wanting to crack a smile, although he was trying hard to frown and give Sam a hard time.

"Dean, did you enjoy participating in your vacation," Castiel asked as they moved into another line.

"What," Dean asked confusion on his face as he glanced from Castiel to Sam. Sam looked away and shrugged, hoping Cas didn't inadvertently start some crap between he and Dean.

"Sam said-"

"I said we should eat," Sam interrupted. "Who's hungry?!"

"I'm starved," Dean said as he looked around them.

They walked through crowds of people, Dean suddenly stopping dead in his tracks.

"What is it Dean? Is there danger," Castiel asked he glared at each passing person.

"Only to Sam's wallet," Dean said as he suddenly turned and sprinted away.

Sam shook his head before following after him, pulled on Castiel to make sure they didn't get separated in the crowd.

They found Dean about a hundred feet away, drooling over a kiosk selling giant turkey legs. He immediately pointed at them and said, "You wanted me to be happy? Then I'm going to need one of those in each hand."

Sam rolled his eyes playfully as he paid for the turkey legs, getting two for Dean, one for himself, and one for Castiel. They moved away from the kiosk and headed for a bench.

Castiel watched as Dean took alternating bites from his turkey legs, his eyes closed in sheer bliss.

"Is this step two," Castiel asked as he tried to figure out where to best begin his attack on the giant turkey leg in his hand.

"Yes," Sam said around a mouth full of meat. "This is definitely step two."

They walked through the park for hours, until Dean suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Is that Mater from Cars," he asked as he cut in front of Sam to get a better look.

"Looks like it," Sam said, trying not to smile enough to piss Dean off.

Dean waited impatiently for a large group of kids to move away from the life-sized models of Mater and Lightening McQueen. He slowly gazed at them, his face unable to form a scowl for Sam.

Sam slowly pulled his phone out of his pocket, managing to snap a quick picture of Dean admiring the fiberglass models. At least Sam could have one picture to prove that Dean hadn't been a total ass the entire time.

As they began to walk through the park, the sun starting dip down; Dean began to relax slightly, wondering yet again how Sam had managed to pay for this trip. He was about to suggest they head for their hotel when Sam hustled them to an open café and grabbed the last available table.

"You guys stay put," he said. "I'll grab the food."

Dean watched the crowds of people hustling around; parents keeping their children close, couples holding hands and strolling along as though no one else were around, teenagers sprinting with maps trailing behind them; obviously late for the parental check in.

As Sam set down a large tray of food, Dean didn't even look at it he was suddenly and painfully aware of how out of place they looked; three dudes, one in a trench coat, sitting at a table in Disney world eating dinner. While wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

He frowned into his burger, wondering if Sam was thinking the same thing. Jesus, if things had been different, Sam would be sitting here with Jess and two point five children. He choked on his burger and stared into the crowd to avoid having to look at Sam. A flash of pink caught his attention.

He tracked the pink hair until the woman came into view, a small boy wearing a Mater shirt holding one of her hands while a little girl wearing cat ears held the other one. He smirked as he watched her turn and impatiently call out to a young teenager who was obviously trying to trail behind. Dean straightened up when he saw the tall man behind her, wearing his own set of Mickey Mouse ears. His walk gave him away as military, Dean wondered if he was home from deployment. Only a man who had survived one hell would be confident enough to take his chances inside of Disney. Dean sighed into his burger again, wondering if he himself would survive the perils Sam had obviously highlighted on his map.

He was trying to steal the last of the french fries when he heard the first loud boom. He jumped slightly, before he realized that it was fireworks. He looked over head; it was a brilliant display of color. He pushed his chair back and leaned back, taking in the scene.

He glanced over at Castiel, who seemed somewhat dismayed.

"What's the matter, Cas," Dean asked. "You find a fly in your ketchup?"

"I have no ketchup, Dean," Castiel stated firmly. "I have expressed that on several occasions. I am trying to determine the purpose of that." He pointed at the sky as another loud boom and whistle cut through the air, followed by a flash of bright bursts.

"Their fireworks, made from salts, gunpowder and stuff," Sam explain. "They're used to celebrate special occasions or sometimes just for fun. They're nice, huh?"

"Yes, they are quite beautiful," Castiel said as he watched Dean steal the last few fries from his own basket. "I hope to see them again."

"Well you're in luck then. They set them off every night," Sam explained as he gazed at the sky. "We can watch them every night we're here."

"And just how long are we going to be here for," Dean asked, curiously.

"I'll let you know," Sam said with a grin.

An hour later they were walking through the streets of Downtown Disney; Dean could practically smell the beer. "Sam, I say I should be allowed to spend the rest of this trip right here," he said as he motioned to a bar called Fuego by Sosa. Sam rolled his eyes as he grabbed Cas by the sleeve and headed in after Dean.

Castiel breathed deeply, a rich vanilla smokiness hung in the air, making the room slightly hazy. He watched as Dean moved to a small table on the patio and tried to follow behind Sam.

"Dude, I'm telling you right now," Dean stated as he adjusted his mouse ears. "I am getting so wasted tonight."

"As long as you can walk back to the hotel," Sam replied. "I'm not carrying you."

Sam left Cas and Dean sitting on the patio listening to the live Irish music from a nearby pub and headed for the bathroom. He returned to find the table loaded with booze and Dean puffing on a cigar, a daring and smug look on his face.

"I got one for you too," Dean said as held out a cigar. "It's a Macanudo cigar, really good too."

Castiel was awkwardly holding a drink in his hand, his face impassive to the bitter alcohol.

"Dean! How many times are you going to try and get Cas drunk," Sam said as he motioned to Castiel. "You know he can't get drunk! You're wasting your money, man."

"We just haven't found the right combination yet," Dean said with a puff on his cigar.

"And what are you drinking? That looks a lot like a mojito," Sam said with disbelief.

"Hey, when in Rome! And I thought the mojito was the official drink of Florida," Dean said with an innocent shrug.

"Pretty sure you're thinking of Metamucil," Sam said as he reached for Dean's lighter.

"Sam, I thought you were against Dean's habit of smoking cigars," Castiel said, slightly confused by Sam's contradicting behavior.

"Typically, yes. And I don't want it to be a habit for sure. But it is a vacation and we're going to live in the moment," Sam said he lit his own cigar. "You want to try it Cas?"

"I will consider it," Castiel replied as he watched Dean closely.

After a second round of Mojitos, Dean switched to Johnny Walker Blue while Sam went for Jack and Coke. Castiel continued to try everything that placed in front of him, wondering what effect Dean was attempting to achieve.

They sat and listened to the music for two hours, cigars and drinks finally finished. Dean was feeling pretty successful about achieving his previous proclamation regarding his drunkenness, he was hammered.

Castiel was holding onto one of Dean's arms while Sam held the other, trying to steer him through the park to the monorail that would deliver them to their tree house.

"SAM! Do you see what I see," Dean slurred as he tried to pull his arms loose.

Sam shook his head trying to stop the ringing that Dean's shout had left. "What," Sam asked, his own voice not quite normal. Damn those mojitos.

Dean pulled free and clumsily skipped ahead, Sam and Castiel following behind. When Dean came into view, Sam was torn between being horrified or rolling on the ground in sheer hysterical laughter. Dean was in a fountain, singing 'Mr. Brightside' by the Killers. He was trying to dance, which was more like a spastic shake and slump routine. He continued to sing aloud all the while splashing around in the water, his body language entirely relaxed and comfortable. Sam grabbed his phone and began to record Dean's song and dance routine. Castiel watched Dean's behavior, wondering just how much of this was considered normal for a routine vacation.

Sam considered leaving him in the pool long enough to sober up when he realized they were drawing a crowd. The last thing they needed was to get kicked out of Disney World for drunk and disorderly behavior. And he knew Dean well, his 'up' from drinking would only last so long before a deep 'low' would set in. He wanted to get Dean back to their room before that happened.

"Cas, help me get him out would you," Sam called out as he moved towards the fountain.

Castiel walked towards Dean, who high-tailed it in the other direction. Sam walked around the fountain from the other direction, Dean tried to run the other way but the water was deep and he was far too drunk. He went down hard and deep.

Sam reached into the water and grabbed him and in one great heave had him out of the water and back onto mostly dry ground. Dean looked guiltily up at Sam, "Do we have time for a night cap?"

"Nope not going to happen," Sam laughed. He was still feeling buzzed and was ready to find something drier to wear. The monorail was still a ways to go.

They stumbled past the onlookers, who began to clap as Dean began to sing 'Somebody Told Me' by the Killers. Dean took a stumbling bow before Sam grabbed him and pulled him towards the monorail.

"Batman! Sam, I just saw Batman," Dean cried out as he pointed back towards the fountain. "We have to go back!"

"No, you did not just see Batman," Sam said with a chuckle. "Cas, grab his other arm and try to help me steer him."

Cas tried to hold onto Dean's arm like Sam was, but Dean kept grabbing his hand, trying to hold it while swinging their arms in time together. Sam was snickered so hard he thought he was getting a nosebleed.

They managed to get halfway to the monorail before Dean pulled his arms free and assured Sam he could walk by himself. They had stopped for a quick minute to look at the map when it happened. One minute Dean is trying to focus on the map and the second he's straddling a six foot tall Goofy. Sam could hear the muffled yells of the person wearing the suit, flaying their arms and legs trying to unseat Dean but he was a pro. He landed some drunken punches before Sam and Castiel pulled him off.

Two minutes later, security showed up and escorted Dean away while Sam and Castiel trailed quietly behind. Did people go to Disney jail for beating up people in Goofy suits, Sam wondered. He didn't remember Stanford covering that.

Two exhausting hours later, they stumbled through the door of their tree house.

"I hope you're happy now! I cannot believe I had to bail you out in friggin Disney World! You friggin punched Goofy, man! What the hell is wrong with you? You're lucky I was able to talk the guy out of pressing charges! Jesus, Dean, what the hell were you thinking," Sam exclaimed while trying to stifle an angry yawn.

"Well, he was trying to hug me! He's lucky I didn't gank him on the spot! Did you even bring Holy water? No one would be willing to do that guy's job unless they were possessed! We might have a job here and you just want to watch fireworks! You're unbelievable, Sam," Dean snapped as he tried to free himself of his soaking wet shoes.

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean and pointed to Castiel, "Cas, next time, feel free to just zap him back to the room, willing or not. Constipation be damned, just get him away from people in costume," Sam stated firmly.

"Dude! You're eyes are gonna stick that way if you roll them any harder. Maybe if you would find us some beer, you could cool your brain down from all this friggin mouse madness," Dean snarked as he tossed his wet shoes into the sink.

"Beer! That's what got us into this mess," Sam snapped.

"No. I was drunk, hell—I am drunk—and I know it wasn't beer. It was those awesome mojitos," Dean said with a reminiscing smile. "Good times."

"Whatever it was, you're not having any more," Sam said as he shook his head. "Poor Cas had to sit there in a wet trench coat for an hour while I talked to the guy you punched and the security team."

Dean looked guiltily over at Cas, who was indeed still wearing his trench coat and tie, his mouse ears slightly crooked.

"Sorry, man," Dean mumbled.

"I am fine. I do not experience cold or wet in the same way humans do," Castiel stated. "You and Sam; however, look as though you are both experiencing what I have been told is crankiness, exhaustion, and what Dean refers to as a hangover."

"Speak for yourself," Dean said with a crooked smile. "I still feel great."

"I feel like I always do," Castiel said with a frown. "I do not experience-"

"Yeah, we get it. You're friggin Superman," Dean said. "Sam, what do you want to do now?"

"Dean, it's three in the morning. I'm going to bed cause we're going to Animal Kingdom in a few hours," Sam said as he headed for his room. "And don't bother calling for any sort of booze room service, I put a hold on our room!"

"Bitch," Dean yelled as he headed for his room. He was face down in his pillow when he realized Castiel was staring at him. "What do you want Cas?"

"I would like to see these Indiana Jones movies Sam mentioned earlier," he replied.

Dean sat up and looked at Cas. "Seriously? Now?"

Castiel stood in the hallway and nodded.

"Alright, head for your room," Dean said as he dragged himself out of his bed.

Dean grabbed the remote to Cas' television and began to thumb through the menu. "Someone's always playing it," Dean mumbled. "Here we go, a marathon."

Castiel sat on the lower bunk bed and began to watch intently as a large boulder began to roll across the screen. This was Dean's favorite in the series; he clumsily climbed into the top bunk and settled in to watch the movie. Screw Animal Kingdom, he had Indiana Jones.

**Okay, more to come people! Please remember to leave a review, this is quite the group project over here and is spanning several states and inboxes! Thanks for reading! Hope you are enjoying this as much as we are! **


	6. Texting War in Cougar Country

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Supernatural cause if I did, Sam would have a decent haircut and Bobby would be ALIVE. Heck, I'd have tossed plenty of people to the Leviathans before I gave up Bobby, what were they thinking?!**

**Author's Note: Sorry this has taken so long to get back to; I'm a mood writer and this story REQUIRES an upbeat, happy happy joy joy kind of mood. I have not been quite that springy as of late, as you can probably tell if you've been reading my Circus Fever updates….I've been horrible to Dean and Sam for kicks and giggles. That's been my mood. Going to try to put on my mouse ears and bang this out! Hold on tight!**

Dean woke to sound of Mickey Mouse laughing. He bolted upright in bed, instantly grimacing and bringing both of his hands up to try and hold his exploding brain in place. A groan passed through his lips as he remembered what had happened last night. The bar, the mojitos, cigars….the fountain… Batman… A smile flickered over his face before the memory of punching Goofy surfaced from his pickled brain. He grimaced again, wondering if Sam was going to be bitched face for the rest of the day because of it.

He looked around the room, he had passed out in the upper bunk bed somewhere in the middle of the Last Crusade, and was dizzy just looking over the side. He felt around the blankets and found the remote, flailing an arm over the side and silencing the Disney cartoon that Sam had most likely put on for his benefit.

"Sam? Cas?" Dean called out as he flung his legs over the side and onto the ladder. His descent was awkward, his hangover demanding immediate attention. He slowly walked down the hallway, checking Sam's room as he passed by. Sam's bed had been made, pillows in place, clothes folded on the table.

"Dude really should have taken vacation lessons," Dean mumbled to himself as he shook his head. Living in hotels hadn't really instilled good housekeeping in Dean; he didn't make the bed unless they were staying at Bobby's house.

He walked into the common area that overlooked the other tree houses; still not seeing any sign of Sam or Cas. He stumbled back to his room and grabbed his jeans from the previous day, pulling his phone from his pocket.

He dropped onto his rumpled bed and called Sam.

Sam answered on the second ring. "_Your drunken ass finally woke up, huh_?"

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's self-righteous tone and replied, _"Yeah, thanks for the reminder. Where are you? And where is Cas_?"

"_Cas and I are in Animal Kingdom_," Sam stated. He grabbed Cas' shoulder and tried to steer him through the crowd while talking to Dean.

"_You took Cas to Animal Kingdom? Seriously_," Dean asked with a derisive snort.

"_Hey, if you hadn't been still in a stupor, we would have waited for you_," Sam explained. "_Dude, I woke up at 7am to find Cas staring at me. He told me that he was ready to 'experience the Animal Kingdom in all its early morning majesty'. You should have seen it, I was caught between sheer horror and laughing hysterically. So we got an early start. Hope you don't mind_."

"_No, trust me, I do not mind_," Dean said with a yawn. "_I'm going to get a shower and find some food. Maybe hit the pool or something_."

"_Alright, but Dean, you have no idea what your missing! Cas is very concerned about dinosaur land. Oh! And he tried to free the birds when he realized their wings were clipped_," Sam explained.

"_Well_ _leave it to Cas to try and correct Disney's propaganda! And seriously? You took him to dinosaur land? You know I caught him trying to explain the Creation to a kid in the elevator, right?"_ Dean said as he ran a hand over his face. "_He'll be the next one arrested if you don't keep an eye on him! Is he still wearing his trench coat_?"

"_He's also informed me that the Tree of Life does not really look like this_," Sam said into the phone with a laugh. "_You're missing out! And yes, he is still wearing his damn trench coat. We have a security tail as well. They are being discreet but they are definitely watching us. I think it would be a good idea to take him out tonight and get him some better clothes to help him blend in. He looks like a pedophile_!"

Dean sighed and said, _"Just keep him out of the displays! Unless he sits on one of the dinosaurs, then I want a picture. And try to keep him from getting arrested; I'm going to be too busy hugging the toilet to make bail for you two. And seriously?! A pedophile…. I always thought maybe shoe bomber, but I see your point. We'll go shopping tonight before he ends up on a billboard somewhere_."

"_I don't think I can take this all day, Dean. I'm trying desperately to not laugh at him but he is really, really concerned over how wrong Disney is about some of their stuff,"_ Sam replied. He watched as their security tail followed them a short distance behind as they walked through a crowd of middle schoolers.

Dean rolled off his bed and walked down the hallway into the bathroom, staring at the shower. His legs ached at the thought of standing for more than a few minutes. He turned around and headed for Sam's bathroom, the master suite. Surely there would be a tub in there.

"_Be careful, Sam! Those security guys mean business and I don't want to lose our only connection to the angel radio to these bastards! I'm still fairly certain this is a Leviathan chomping ground_," Dean said as he pushed the door open to reveal a large soaking tub in Sam's bathroom.

Sam pulled Cas closer to him and put himself between him and their security detail. "_I hear you on that. We're waiting in line for the spinning wild mouse ride. I just caught our tail speaking to the ride operator. We are being very closely observed,"_ Sam said into his phone. Not for the first time morning, he was wishing that they had waited for Dean.

Dean froze as he heard Sam fumble the phone and could hear Cas in the back ground—"_Dinosaurs were never meant to interact with humans, Sam. Why do you insist on making them that way? There are reasons they were destroyed_."

Dean burst out laughing as he listened to Sam trying to shush Cas.

"_Dude, it's like he's wearing a billboard that says, "CHILD MOLESTER_," Sam said into the phone. "_And I am being as careful as I can without looking even more out of place. They won't do anything unless Cas tries to do something stupid…__**like try to heal a kid in a wheelchair**__!"_

Dean froze as he strained to listen to the scuffling noises coming from Sam's end of the phone conversation.

"_**CAS!—"**_

"_**WAIT—"**_

Dean listened to what was surely the phone being dropped onto the ground. He waited until he could hear Sam picking up the phone before saying, "_Dude! Are you being arrested right now? Stop him, Sam_!"

"_It's okay, Dean_," Sam mumbled into the phone, his breathing harsh from the adrenaline rush from nearly tackling Cas.

"_Dude, tell me he didn't…please_," Dean said with a deep sigh. He was too tired and hung over to consider the walk across the park to rescue Sam and Cas from the security team.

"_No, it's good. I saw that look on his face and the hand motion. I managed to stop him before he got close,_" Sam exclaimed. "_But we are leaving Dinosaur land right now_!"

"_Good move! Remind him, NO TOUCHING! Jeez, I really thought we had this whole personal space thing down_," Dean said with a sigh. He started the hot water, hoping that filling the tub to the top might help ease his raging headache.

"_Dean, hang on a sec, Cas has a question_," Sam said into the phone. "_What is it, Cas_?"

Dean turned the water off in hopes of hearing Cas' question.

"_Sam, I do not understand…the yeti is a death omen. Are you humans so eager to die that you make images of this monster? Is the purpose of this ride to die_," Cas asked Sam he pointed to a sign overhead that featured a Yeti.

Dean strained to hear Sam's reply. "_No, Cas, the purpose of this ride is to have fun_!"

"_Seriously, dude! He thinks you're taking him to on a death ride_?" Dean asked Sam over the phone. "_Well, just make sure you explain all of this to him. I had to stay up all night explaining Indiana Jones. This one is on you_!"

Sam rolled his eyes and turned to Cas with a stern look meant to keep Cas from talking to loudly about the 'death ride'.

Cas asked, "_Sam, is that what Dean refers to as your bitch face_?"

Dean froze on his end of the phone. 'Crap,' he thought to himself. 'Leave it to Cas.'

Sam was glaring at Cas when he realized Dean was being exceptionally quiet on his end of the line. Sam took a deep breath and asked, "_Dean is the angel blade still in the trunk_?"

Dean ran a hand over his stubble and chuckled. "_Yeah, I think so…but alternatively we could use that angel mojo thing to send him away for long enough to make our getaway. And I never used the term 'bitch face'! You know how confused he gets about these things, he's always misunderstanding things."_

"_Yeah, cause I could never imagine you thinking up such a thing_," Sam sarcastically said. "_Look man, we're about to get on a ride. Text me if you need anything or leave the tree house_."

Dean tossed his phone the counter and watched as the tub continued to finish filling. He grabbed one of the Mickey Mouse shaped bubble bath bottles and dumped it in with a shrug. 'When in Rome,' he thought to himself.

He grabbed Sam's bag from the counter and upended it in the sink, snagging the bottle of Ibuprofen before heading to the kitchen. He glanced out the window and spotted some people obviously headed to the pool, towels in hand. He watched as 'pink hair' stepped out of the tree house next to theirs, with her bag in hand. Dean recognized the look on her face, the squint of her eyes, and the slight twist on her lips that signaled discomfort. He chuckled as she glared up at the morning sun before digging her sunglasses from her bag; apparently she was as hung over as he was.

Dean headed back to the tub and froze at the sight before him. The bubbles had risen from the tub and were rapidly making their way across the floor. He sighed deeply before a smirk crossed his face. Sam could deal with it.

He stripped down and slid into the hot water, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. He smiled to himself and grabbed his phone from the edge of the counter and called Sam, "_Dude, have you even used the monster sized jet tub in your bathroom?_"

"_No, I haven't. And you have your own bathroom, Dean!_" Sam snapped into the phone as he watched Cas play curiously with the giant dinosaur balloon Sam had tied to his wrist. "_Use your own_!"

"_There isn't a gigantic tub in mine_!" Dean replied as tried to keep the bubbles away from his phone. "_Oh, hey, would you wanna swing by the trunk and grab my latest issue of Busty Asian Beauties for me? A tub like this calls for some reading material_."

"_Speaking of awkward, that is so gross Dean! …and the car is outside so you can just go get your own reading material_," Sam sighed into the phone.

"_Dude, I'm already in the tub! And after getting arrested once last night, I didn't think you be okay with me strutting my stuff through the hotel to get to my car_," Dean said, feigning annoyance. "_But that's fine! I don't mind the ladies checking out the goods…Crap! Sam! Why are there no towels in your bathroom_?"

Sam just rolled his eyes as he considered hanging up on Dean. Cas was being quite a handful to manage on his own and Dean was just being a distraction at this point.

"_Don't even think about it Dean_," Sam warned. "_And unlike with you, I don't have to worry about Cas trying to hit on Pocahontas so that's a perk I guess_."

Dean frowned into the phone as he stood from the tub and surveyed the bathroom, "_Why? Is she hot? And seriously dude, we've been here like what, two days and you've used all the towels! How many times have you washed your hair?_"

Sam ran a hand through his hair, wishing he had hung up on Dean already. "_Seriously Dean? The towels are right outside the glass door! And if they aren't in the bathroom, check the dryer down the hallway by your room. Why didn't you check for towels before you got in the tub_?"

Dean laughed into the phone, "_That's why I'm using YOUR tub; I figured you would be more prepared than this! I'm serious Sam, there are parts of me getting pruny that aren't supposed to be! Jeez, I'll just go and find one and I don't want to hear anything about the wet carpet, okay_?"

Dean stepped carefully from the tub, nearly dropping his phone as he slipped on the wet floor. He grinned as he considered what Sam had said, "_You washed towels? This is why I keep you around, Sammy. You're so friggin responsible!_"

Sam scoffed into the phone and waved at Cas, who was beginning to follow a kid who's balloon was even bigger than the one Sam had bought Cas.

"_That's why I washed towels last night while you and Cas were mooning over Indiana Jones! So we would have clean towels tonight_," Sam stated into the phone. "_Some of us are just more responsible than others_."

Dean walked through the tree house, heading for the fridge before going to get a towel. It wasn't often he got the opportunity to walk around naked; one of the many negatives of living on the road with someone who was not a bikini model.

"_You wanna meet up later for dinner somewhere or are you going to bring me back something_," Dean asked as he glanced out the large windows that surrounded the living room. He watched as a group of older women walked past on the gravel walkway below, one suddenly looking up at him. She smiled cheekily up at him and gave a small wave.

"_We'll bring you something_," Sam replied into the phone, wondering if Dean knew about the windows.

Dean froze for a second before grabbing a couch cushion and firmly planting it over his crotch. The older woman gave another smile and a wink before before rushing to catch up to the larger group of prowling cougars.

"_DUDE, did you know our windows are NOT tinted? I just had some old woman checking me out while I was looking for a towel. Seriously man, this is cougar country_," Dean barked into the phone. "_Better keep an eye on Cas, they'll be after him next_."

Sam laughed and said, "_Well, Cas is enjoying the safari ride so far. Although he is concerned about the animals being penned up. He said something about it not being fair to them. And since when have you __**ever**__ been concerned with modesty? Or older women, you've brought more than one back the room before!"_

"_Well, tell Cas it's better to have them locked up instead of on a tasty sesame seed bun_," Dean replied as he tried to pull his jeans on with one hand. "_And modest?! I was practically __**optically assaulted**__ by that blue hair! And you know how I feel about the older ladies, the more experienced the better. But dude, she looked like Lucille Ball. Not gonna happen_!"

Sam chuckled into the phone and grabbed Cas by the coat as he tried to stand up from his seat; he adjusted the phone and said, "_Hey! You __**LIKED**__ Lucille Ball! And you know that military guy you pointed out yesterday with 'pink hair', he's two seats up from us with his kids. The little one keeps looking back and making faces at Cas and he's really confused now. The guy is looking a little harried. Guess his wife went to see a show or something_."

Dean grabbed his shirt and slipped it over his head and said, "_Okay, so I__** LIKED**__ Lucy, but I __**NEVER**__ wanted to bend her over my hood, okay? And tell Cas to make a face back, but to not get caught. That guy could probably rip him a new one, especially if he's stressed out cause of his kids_."

Dean toed his boots on and pulled the door shut behind him. He listened to Sam repeat his comment to Cas, smiling as he imagined what face Cas might think was appropriate to scare a kid with. Knowing Cas, any face he chose to make would scare the kid.

Dean pulled his phone close and mumbled into the phone, "_I just got out to the pool. I see some pink hair across the pool; she looks a lot like how I feel, probably hung over. Three kids—Jesus!—She probably needs a hangover from all that…. Crap, that 'ole blue haired cougar from before is eyeing me. I've got find a way to look unavailable_."

Sam laughed and said, "_Okay, well we now we have three tails and one of them looks like a wrestler. We just got off the Safari ride and that little kid came right up to Cas and tugged on his sleeve and asked if he was an angel. Cas actually looked kind of flustered and he said 'yes, I am'! The kid's father came up and grabbed him. He apologized for his kid bothering us_."

"_Wow, impressive kid_," Dean said as he headed for the only empty chair across the pool, which happened to be next to the pink haired woman. "_What did Cas say to him?"_

Sam sighed deeply into the phone and said, _"He said, 'It's no bother. Children are naturally curious and can see deeper than most people give them credit for'. I'm actually surprised he handled it so well_!"

"_Wow, go Cas! So much for the pedophile thing, huh? Listen, I've got to hide from the cougar_," Dean said as he approached the pool chair. "_I'll text if I leave the hotel, okay_?"

Sam laughed and said, "_Alright man. I don't want to find any old ladies in the bathtub later, oka_y?"

"_Real funny, Sam_," Dean snapped as he hung up his phone.

Dean glanced over his shoulder at the older woman, who was shamelessly staring at him. He dropped into the pool chair, instantly wishing he had a magazine or anything to look at. He glanced at 'pink hair' and noticed a few magazines and books peeking out of the top of her bag.

"Hey, would you mind," Dean asked as he motioned to the books. She glanced at him over her Buddy Holly glasses and leaned over to her bag. She pulled out a glossy magazine and handed it to him with a smile.

"You don't look like a Martha Stewart kind of guy," she said as he saw the title of the magazine, Super Chevy.

He smiled and took it from her, opening it and thumbing through it with a soft whistle. "You're right about that," he said as he glanced over the top of the magazine at the older woman, who gave him a little wave.

"Friend of yours," pink hair asked, as she glanced curiously at the older woman.

"Um-no," Dean replied with a grimace. "More of a cougar stalker type than a friend."

She laughed and said, "I'm Jenn and not a stalker."

Dean smiled and said, "I'm Dean. Thanks for the magazine, might give me the barricade I need from her."

"No problem," Jenn said as she picked up the book she had been reading. Dean glanced up and froze. It was not just _**any**_ book. It was one of Chuck's novels-Dean felt himself beginning to panic, as well as a burning blush creep over him as he glanced at the illustrated cover. His character looked far too oversexed and Sam's hair had more body than any one man needed. He would have killed Chuck for his choice in illustrator if he had known where to find the rogue prophet.

Dean immediately pulled the car magazine up, making it impossible for Jenn to see him. He adjusted the magazine to hold it with one hand, digging for his phone with the other one.

Sam was going to shit a brick.

Dean dropped the magazine into his lap and began to text furiously: Sam, I'm hiding behind a magazine I borrowed from 'pink hair', she had a car magazine so I'm safe from the cougar. But we have a major problem here!

Dean tried to sit still, his knee jiggling as he waited for Sam to respond.

Sam responded a minute later with: Don't you dare get involved with pink hair, Dean! She's married and her husband looks like he could beat your ass without breaking a sweat.

Dean rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to smile innocently as Jenn looked up at him, he texted Sam back with: Seriously dude, she has three kids. You know I avoid women with the "mom gene". I prefer the "daddy issue gene". Besides, it looks like she could kick my ass before he ever gets here. But you are missing the problem Sam! She's reading one of **Chuck's** books…and it looks like there might be more in her bag…We are so screwed right not! And Chuck's illustrator did a fairly nice job of nailing our likenesses, except for your hair.

Sam purposely took a minute longer than necessary to respond, knowing that Dean was probably sitting there sweating over his current predicament.

Sam smiled as he texted back: Well, that explains the stickers on her car. Jeez, not another Becky!

Dean couldn't help it as he tensed up and involuntarily glanced up at Jenn.

Dean ducked his head back down and texted: God, I hope not. I'm terrified to move now. I'm looking at her car magazine and if I make a run for, it might be more weird. What do I do, Sam?! She's looking at me from behind her Buddy Holly glasses.

Sam glanced up at Cas before he replied to Dean, making sure he wasn't getting caught up in the parade that was passing by them. Sam replied to Dean with a smile: Cas is fascinated by this parade. That military guy and his kids are right next to us. His oldest looks extremely bored. His daughter is going nuts over the Disney characters.

Dean rolled his eyes and replied: Tell Cas to keep his distance from those kids. The last thing I want to explain to Bobby is how Cas got a black eye. And Sam, what am I supposed to do about this?!

Sam smirked as he texted Dean back: You could always ask her about the books. It's not like you don't know what's in there. Just, whatever you do, do not show her your tattoo! Or explain that we are the real deal. Alternatively, you could just throw the magazine at her and run away screaming like a little girl. 

Dean sat in his poolside chair and considered Sam's response. He hadn't bothered to finish reading Chuck's novels…who needed to read a book written about their own life? He glanced at Jenn and considered how to strike up a conversation with her about the books. He was about to open his mouth when an unsettling thought occurred to him. He grabbed his phone again and set about to texting Sam.

Dean texted furiously, hoping his tense body language didn't tip Jenn of that something was wrong: What if she's one of those Wincest people? You know, that weird group that thinks we're "together" because we're always together?! God, I want Hell to just open up and swallow me now!

Sam laughed as he read Dean's text message. Castiel walked up to him and looked curiously at him. Cas touched Sam's arm and said, "Is Dean in danger? I sense his discomfort. Should we assist in some sort of rescue?"

Sam laughed even harder at Castiel's remark and said, "No Cas. This is something Dean really has to do on his own. Let's keep walking and see what's ahead."

Sam pulled his phone from his pocket again and texted a reply: Relax man! She's probably just a fan of the books. Why don't you ask her who her favorite character is? Bet it's me!

Dean sighed and flipped through a few pages of the Super Chevy magazine before texting Sam back: Dude! She's fanning herself as she's reading! I never finished reading them and what if there's something in there Chuck never told us about, like some sort of heavenly orgy or something? If I survive this with any dignity, I'm going to kill that prophet!

Sam didn't bother to reply to Dean. He was getting worried about nothing; he had secretly been following the book sales and had known that at some point they were going to cross paths with another Chuck fan. But he hadn't really thought it would have happened at Disney world either. Oh well, Dean could handle it.

His phone went off again and he pulled it from his pocket and read the message from Dean: Fine! I can do this. Maybe she's more of a Sam person anyways. But if her military husband finds me and her reading smutty novels together, at least promise me, you'll help explain all this crap. 

Sam grimaced at the thought of having to explain it to anyone, especially someone with military training. He didn't want to think of their vacation ending early as they made a get-a-way to the Impala in the middle of the night.

He texted Dean back with a frown: Whatever Dean. Just promise me you won't try to jump down her pants! I don't want to even think about trying to explain that one! And Cas wants to know why humans keep animals penned up but then honor them with music and dance! How the hell do you explain Disney to an angel! Jeez…

Dean tossed his phone on the table between him and Jenn. He flipped through the car magazine again, pausing at a dog eared page. He could tell from the worn edge and crease in the spine, the page had been stared at quite a lot.

"Your husband's choice," Dean asked as he held the picture up; a '69 Chevelle SS, a deep blue with white racing stripes.

Jenn gave him a withering look before saying, "No. It's **my** top choice; he would rather be driving some old Willy's jeep."

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise; it wasn't often he could appreciate some chic's car choice, but hot damn-obviously three kids hadn't totally fried her brains of taste, or given her the minivan complex.

Dean nodded as he continued to read the description of the car. Without realizing it, Dean brought a hand up to his aching head and began to rub his temples. He was startled from reading when a bottle of Ibuprofen was suddenly rattled near his head.

Jenn was dumping two in her own hand and held the bottle out to him. He shook a few into his own hand as she pulled two water bottles from her bag. He took one with a smile.

"Hung over too, huh," Jenn asked as she sipped her own water.

"Uh, yeah," Dean said with a shrug. "To many mojitos and Johnny Walker. And a dip in a fountain, followed by what I still swear was Batman. And some guy in a Goofy suit that accosted me on the way to the monorail."

Jenn laughed and nodded, "Sounds like we had a very similar night. Mojitos, some really awesome cigars… And I am also pretty darn sure I saw Batman overhead. But that could have been the booze. Oh! And some really, really drunken texting. Can't believe the things I said! My husband actually took my phone away from me to try and keep me from calling people while drunk!"

Dean laughed aloud and said, "Yeah, well, at least you didn't get arrested—in friggin Disney world of all places. My brother will be giving me the bitch face for the next year about it."

"Well, at least you can avoid the rides this way," Jenn said with a smirk.

"So true," Dean replied. "I was against this vacation from the beginning. I'm still not sure it's not going to end bloody."

"Same here," Jenn said as she adjusted her shades, dropping her novel onto the ground.

Dean took the opening and reached for the book on the ground, looking as casually curious at it as possible. "Any good," he asked he gazed at the cover.

"Are you kidding me? This guy's a friggin genius! He's got it all in here; camaraderie, friendship, betrayal, angst, whump, and monster killing while saving people, all being done by two hot dudes that drive around the country in a classic car," Jenn said, her face wistful as she gazed at the cover of the novel.

"What is whump," Dean asked, hoping to God it wasn't some sort of incestuous bro-mance relationship term he'd have to ask Cas to remove from his brain later.

"It's…hmmm. Well, okay, for example…I write fanfiction and I write whump. Basically, you take the character and just beat the shit out of 'em. You know, mentally, emotionally, or physically," Jenn said casually with a shrug.

Dean could feel his eyes getting wide. "Wow, that sounds kinda mean," he said.

"Well, it's just fiction," Jenn said as she stared at him from behind her sunglasses. "Not hurting anyone real."

Dean nodded and pointed to her bag. "You have the whole collection," Dean asked, trying to keep the panic from his voice.

"Yep," Jenn said with a grin. "You wanna borrow one?"

"Uh-maybe later, actually," Dean said quickly. "So….your husband, he's out with the kids?"

"Yeah, I wasn't really feeling up to Animal Kingdom with this hangover," Jenn replied.

"Me neither," Dean said as he glanced around.

"You expecting someone," Jenn asked, following his gaze across the pool.

"Well…no. But I promised my brother I wouldn't get into any more trouble and the last thing I need is for your husband to find me here reading romance novels with his wife," Dean said.

Jenn burst into laughter and dropped her novel back into her bag. "Look, my husband might look like he could kick your ass from here to the Epcot ball, but he would be more likely to just talk about your car," Jenn managed to say in between laughing. "You're the guy with the Impala, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Dean said as his stomach flip flopped.

"Yeah, we were both ogling it in the parking lot earlier," Jenn said as she dug a bag a peanut M&Ms out of her bag.

Dean picked up his phone and texted Sam: Dude, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to molest her out here in the open! Or at all! And her name is Jenn. And she's hung over worse than me. She claims she saw Batman last night too!

Sam pulled his phone from his pocket as he tried to keep an eye on Cas, who was busy stuffing handfuls of blue cotton candy into his nearly unhinged jaw. Sam shook his head at Dean's text message and replied: Well, as least **she** wasn't dancing in a fountain! 

Across the park, Dean scoffed at Sam's text message and replied: Yeah, I guess. And thanks for rubbing that in by the way! I've been coughing up chlorine all morning; I could die from pneumonia cause of you and your insistence on having a vacation!

As Sam bought another bag of cotton candy for Cas he texted Dean back: Yeah, right. You never get sick! We're heading back to the tree house. I'm tired and Cas is driving me nuts. How are things going with Jenn?

Dean watched as Jenn stood back and gazed upon the Impala. He could see the desire in her eyes as they roamed every inch of the car. He pulled his phone from his pocket and read Sam's text before responding: We've left the pool and are in the parking lot. She wanted to see the Impala, she's been looking for one for a while and wanted to talk shop about the engine and body work I've done to it.

Sam shook his head in disbelief and glanced across the monorail, he could see Jenn's husband and kids a few seats away. Cas leaned over to watch Sam text Dean: Seriously Dean?! You know better! And her family is on the monorail with us! Has she figured out who we are? I mean who we really are?!

Dean paled at the thought of Jenn's military issue husband finding Jenn in the parking lot-make that inside the car now-with him. He furiously texted Sam back: She's in the Impala. Her husband is going to kill me! What do I do?! Lure her out with a signed copy of the book?!

Dean watched as Jenn adjusted the mirror and settled into the comfortable seat where Sam usually sat. She ran her hand appreciatively along the interior, the look of pure lust on her face.

"So how did you get your hands on this beauty," Jenn asked from the passenger seat.

"Um-my dad gave her to me," Dean replied, instantly horrified as he realized that the Impala was full of details that could give away their identity.

"Pretty nice, last thing my dad gave me was an ass chewing," Jenn said with a slight pout on her face.

"Yeah, well, I got plenty of those too," Dean replied. He glanced worriedly around the parking lot, expecting her husband to appear at any minute.

Meanwhile, on the monorail, Sam was about to have a near panic attack. Cas had turned around and offered part of his cotton candy to one of Jenn's kids. Sam turned with a grimace and caught the man's attention. "Sorry, he has kind of an abnormal understanding of proper social interactions," Sam said as he motioned to the bag Cas was sharing with the little girl and boy.

"It's not a big deal," the man said with a smile, even though Sam could see from his body language he was far from thinking it wasn't a big deal.

"I think you and your family are in the tree house next to ours," Sam said, trying to think of a way to explain why Dean and Jenn were together at the hotel parking lot if it came to that.

"Uh, yeah I think so," the man replied, his body language continued to be tense, his head swiveling constantly as he repeatedly surveyed the other passengers. Sam watched as he tensed and jumped slightly at an overhead announcement from the monorail system.

He caught Sam looking at him and gave a small crooked smile before glancing out of the window, his hand tapping his knee nervously. Sam's attention snapped to the guy' s crew cut and he almost groaned from his own stupidity; he should have considered it before now, his body language was a giveaway and Cas' behavior was surely making him more unnerved by the second.

"How long have you been home from deployment," Sam blurted out suddenly.

The man looked at Sam, surprise etched into his face, before he ducked his head and said, "Not long enough."

Sam nodded and said, "I'm Sam. This is Cas."

"Chris," the man said as he leaned forward to shake Sam's outstretched hand.

Sam sat quietly for a second before he said, "So apparently, your wife spotted my brother's car…and they're in the parking lot looking at it." Sam waited and watched Chris' face, looking for some tiny sign that he was going to go pound Dean's face right through his own ass.

Chris looked at Sam and laughed. "That sounds like her," he said as he shook his head. "I'm guessing it's the Impala in the parking lot, right? She's been texting me about it since she managed to talk her way inside the damn thing. She's quite a smooth talker when it comes to cars. Bet he's starting to get worried about how to get her back out of the car!"

Sam chuckled and said, "Yeah, something like that."

Sam pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Dean: We're nearly back from Animal Kingdom. Apparently, Chris just got back from Afghanistan, he apparently had a rough tour.

Not to far away Dean was cringing as he read Sam's message and replied: Rough tour, as in a bad camel ride? Or bad tour as in, he's going to go all Terminator on me and you're going to have to bury me in my car kind of way?

Sam chuckled and thought of a reply. He hated to worry Dean, usually. But….Dean had been a bit of an ass about the whole Disney thing. He smirked as he texted Dean back: Think Terminator. Oh, and we're having dinner with them tonight.

Dean groaned as he read the message and glanced over at Jenn, who was staring at the trunk. "Wanna open her up? Want to see what kind of storage she's got back here."

Dean felt a cold sweat break out, what was he going to do now?

**Author's Note: Okay. There! +6,000 words in this chapter alone….time for a nap….a long, long nap. Seriously though people, you gotta leave a review. This whole story started as a punk project that escalated to long distance larping via texting that went from Virginia, to Tennessee, to Disney World in Florida.**

**And yeah, Jenn, she exists! So does Chris! Me though, not really. Turns out I'm entirely fictional. I will cease to exist the second you stop reading or think about this. And this will NOT turn into some FanGirl drabble where Jenn ends up some Winchester dude. Nope, not gonna happen. No worries there! **

**So, please, leave a review! **


	7. Dinner and a Makeover at Camp Normal

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural. Coming to terms with it in my own way.**

**Author's Note: Let's do Disney! Put on your ears!**

Dean thought his heart was going to explode. He stared at Jenn, her hand still motioning to the trunk.

"Well," she said. "Can I have a look?"

"Ummm-," Dean said as he looked over his shoulder. "Actually, my brother just texted me. Apparently, he and your family are just about back to the hotel….and somehow, we're all going to have dinner together."

Jenn looked from him to the car; she obviously wasn't ready to leave the Impala, but Dean didn't move towards the trunk, the keys held tightly his fist. He briefly considered calling upon Cas to come and whisk her away and do a little mind wipe….maybe on him too, the concept behind 'whump' was burning a hole in his brain.

He turned towards the hotel and asked, "So….you wanna meet them at the hotel, or what?"

Jenn could see his discomfort and smiled disarmingly. "Sure," she said as she began to follow him. "So what's the deal? You and your brother came to Disney and you got left at the hotel today?"

"This vacation was his idea, his plan, and totally his way of getting back at me for refusing to take time off from our-work," Dean said, hoping she hadn't caught his hesitation.

"You didn't want to do Disney," Jenn asked with a snort. "No surprise there. My husband made me come on this trip. He planned the whole thing too."

Dean nodded his understanding. "And then a friend just kinda popped in and decided to tag along," he explained. "So Sam had some company for today, anyhow."

"Your brother's name is Sam," Jenn asked curiously. "Seriously?"

"Uh-yeah," Dean said, mentally kicking his own ass for making it too easy for Jenn to figure everything out.

"That's wild," Jenn said with a smile. "Your names, your car, even your likenesses are just insanely like the books."

"The books," Dean asked, feigning ignorance.

"Yeah, the ones I was reading at the pool," Jenn said. "The ones by Carver Edlund."

"Oh, yeah, those," Dean said with a shrug. "Guess that is kinda weird if you think about it."

Jenn glanced at him, his jaw was tight as he walked looking straight ahead, determined to not look at her. She looked away, a small grin flittering over her face, this was just unbelievable!

They walked past the pool and headed back to their tree houses. Sam and Chris were standing on the sidewalk talking while the three kids raced up the steps to their tree house. Cas stood off to the side, looking unsure until he saw Dean. He came running up to Dean, Mickey Mouse ears askew, trench coat flying behind him, and an exceptionally large dinosaur balloon bobbed over his head. He had sugary bits of blue cotton candy stuck in his hair as well.

"Dean," Cas exclaimed, his eyes wide. "You missed so many wonderful things today. Tomorrow, I will show you everything. Sam already said that tomorrow, I will be tagging along with you while he recovers. I assure you, he is not injured; but he claimed he needs 'down time'. Perhaps you will explain this later, while I quiz you on the many things I encountered today."

Dean couldn't help but smile at Cas' eagerness to fill Dean in on what he had missed, but his smile turned into more of a twitch when he realized Jenn was still standing next to him; a grin growing on her face as she watched Cas trying to show Dean the dinosaur balloon.

"The friend you mentioned," Jenn asked as she motioned to Cas.

"Oh, yeah. Cas, this is Jenn. Jenn, this is our friend Cas," Dean said.

Jenn looked at Cas and reached for the hand he had thrust out between them. "Dean has assured me this is the proper way to express my pleasure at being introduced," Cas explained as he forcefully shook her hand, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

Jenn smiled and asked, "Is Cas short for anything?" as she moved closer to Cas.

Dean was between them in a flash. "So what's the plan for dinner," Dean asked he slapped a hand on Cas' shoulder and steered him towards the stairs. "Sam? What's the plan?"

Sam looked away from Chris and said, "We're going to eat at their tree house since we haven't really bought any groceries. We're going to take an hour to get showered and dressed, so you have time to clean all those bubbles off of my bathroom floor. Okay?"

Dean scowled at Sam before waving at Jenn and Chris; yanking Cas in the door behind him.

Ten minutes later, Dean had Sam pinned face down to the floor.

"Dean, let me up," Sam tried to shout, but the knee in his back was making it hard to get enough air to shout.

"Dude, she's going to figure it out!" Dean exclaimed. "She already thinks it's weird that we have the names and the car from the books! Not to mention the sex appeal that Chuck had put into the illustrations."

Sam managed to roll his eyes before mumbling, "She's not going to figure it out. Besides, we're like professionals when it comes to thinking on our feet and lying. Just improvise!"

Dean pressed his knee harder into Sam's back, crushing the last air out of him. "The last time you proposed improvising, you ended up walking out of a hospital with Jim Walsh's hand on your ass!"

Sam glared over his shoulder at Dean before dropping his face onto the carpet. Dean stood and walked to the couch before dropping onto it. "What are we going to do," Dean asked.

"Stop whining and get ready to go to dinner," Sam said between coughing and sucking in air. "We are going. YOU are going. Nothing bad will happen."

"Why are we going anyways," Dean teased. "You crushing on Chris or what?"

Sam sent a royal bitch face at Dean, who snickered. "But really, why are we going? We don't have dinner plans with people."

"And maybe that's why I want to do it," Sam stated as he kicked his shoes off. "It's a normal thing. People meet other people and get together for dinner and stuff. It's not like we're going to see them again once we leave Disney, so can you just grin and bear it for a little while, please?!"

Dean didn't say anything as he watched Sam stalk down the hallway to his room. He sighed and rolled off the couch. He found Cas in his own room in dire trouble.

Dean watched from the doorway as Cas continued to try and sort himself out. He had attempted to remove his trench coat without untying the balloon from his wrist; the ribbon from his balloon becoming entangled through his trench coat, effectively tying the coat to him. Dean wasn't able to figure out how or why he had managed to unbutton his shirt, one arm completely free while the other made the mess between the balloon ribbon and his trench coat worse. His tie was pulled around behind him, the tail dangling down between his shoulder blades. His mouse ears were perched precariously on his head. He had one shoe in his hand, and Dean couldn't see where the other one had ended up.

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean asked, trying to keep his amusement out of his voice.

"Sam requires that I look more like I am on a proper vacation. He assured me my suit was why people were staring at me today," Cas replied as he tried to pull a sock off.

"I'm sure that was part of it," Dean mumbled.

"Sam purchased me clothes for this evening," Cas stated as he pointed to a bag on the lower bunk bed. "I believe his intention is that I blend this evening."

"Oh you're going to blend alright," Dean said as he dumped the contents of the bag onto the bed.

Sam had managed to find a few things for Cas: a t-shirt emblazoned with Peter Pan, a pair of gray and black basketball shorts, and last but not least….flip flops.

Dean's eyes widened at the selection before turning back to Cas.

"You want some help," Dean asked. "You're not getting anywhere like that."

Cas stopped and looked at Dean. "That would be much appreciated, Dean."

Dean awkwardly stepped towards Cas and began to untangle him. The tie was easy, as was the last shoe and sock. After five minutes of fighting with the balloon, Dean used his teeth to bite through the ribbon, causing the balloon to escape to the ceiling. Cas watched disappointedly as it bumped into the ceiling.

"Don't look so forlorn Cas," Dean said he pulled the trench coat loose and threw it on the bed. "I'll fish it back down for you later."

Dean got Cas down to his pants, before stepping back, his hands held up in the air. "Okay, Cas," Dean said. "You can take it from here."

"Are you ready for dinner?" Cas asked.

"I got a shower earlier. Sam's getting one now," Dean said. "So, yeah, just gonna change my shirt."

Cas stared blankly as Dean before asking, "So a human on vacation would shower before dinner?"

"Um, yeah—sure, why not," Dean said as he all but ran out of the room. He bumped into Sam in the hallway.

"Is Cas getting ready for dinner," Sam asked he glanced down the hallway.

Dean didn't get a chance to reply before Sam grabbed his forearm and yanked him around. They were both staring at the ceiling when Cas approached them.

"Sam, Dean, what is this peculiar behavior? Have you lost something on the ceiling," Cas asked as he stepped between them and looked up at the ceiling.

"Um, no Cas, we're just waiting for you to go….where are you going Cas," Sam asked. "And why are you naked?!"

"Dean suggested I shower before dinner," Cas replied innocently. "I was under the impression that it is most effective when performed while nude."

"Cas, you're an angel! You don't need to shower," Sam stated firmly.

"Dean explained to me that humans would shower before dinner. I am curious to partake of this regimen," Cas explained. "I will be only a few moments."

Dean and Sam continued to stare at the ceiling until they heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on. Sam and Dean instantly looked at each other, eyes wide.

"Dean! What did you do?" Sam demanded angrily.

"Dude, I didn't do anything," Dean replied innocently. "He asked, I answered. I didn't know he was going to strip down and strut through our tree house! Jeez!"

Sam glared at Dean and followed him to the kitchen. Sam started to dig through the few bags of snack foods Dean had brought in from the car, leftovers from the road trip.

Dean grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down at the table before asking, "Why did you buy him a Peter Pan shirt? Why not something cool….I don't know, like….Don Karnage?"

"Seriously Dean, Don Karnage? You're showing your age with that one," Sam snorted as he set a pack of Oreos aside on the counter. "Besides, he chose Peter Pan; said it reminded him of you."

Dean coughed suddenly, choking on a mouthful of soda. Sam stood smirking as Dean tried to clear his throat.

"What do you…mean...me," Dean croaked as he coughed again.

"You can ask him, I just assumed it was your extreme inability to grow up," Sam said with a chuckle.

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam and mumbled, "Real nice Sam."

Sam set chips and salsa next to the Oreos, catching Dean's attention.

"What are you doing with those," Dean asked he pointed to the pile Sam was assembling from their fridge.

"I want to take a few things with us, you know— to share," Sam explained.

"And you're opting to share my Oreos," Dean stated. "That's low. We don't even know if they eat Oreos."'

"Dean, they have three kids," Sam glowered at Dean. "Of course they eat Oreos; stop being so selfish!"

"I just don't want to offend them with foods they might find unappealing," Dean said innocently with a shrug.

"Dean!" Sam snapped at him. "Go see what's taking Cas so long."

"I'm not going in there! You wanna know, you go check," Dean argued. "You're already taking my Oreos away, I'm not helping you!"

"He's your angel, which makes him your responsibility!" Sam argued back.

"He's not my angel, I'm his ward," Dean stated firmly. "There's a difference."

"Like what," Sam snapped as he turned and glared at Dean.

"I don't know Sam, but I know there is. I don't expect you to understand," Dean said as he tossed his soda can in the garbage. "There's probably something in the fine print about it."

"The fine print," Sam chuckled. "It's not like he came with an owner's manual or a warranty."

Dean didn't get a chance to retort before Cas stumbled into the room. He was mostly dressed, albeit wrong. Sam observed Cas' appearance before looking at Dean and motioning towards Cas with a nod of his head. Dean looked at him and shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'what?'.

Sam glared at Dean before moving to help Cas; his t-shirt should have been an easy enough fix since it was on backwards.

"Pull both of your arms back inside the shirt Cas," Sam explained.

"A shirt is worn with the arms through the sleeves," Cas stated smartly, as if he were the human and Sam were the blundering angel.

Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, I get that. Your shirt is on backwards. Pull your arms in so I can twist the shirt around."

Cas managed to pull his arms back inside, unfortunately though, that was the end of his helpfulness. Sam pulled the t-shirt around just as Cas decided to turn. They were right back where they had started.

"Cas, don't move," Sam exclaimed.

"I was assisting you," Cas explained.

Sam looked at the ceiling, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath before looking at Cas and saying, "You stay still. I'll move the shirt into position. Okay?"

"As you wish Sam," Cas replied with a nod. "I assume this is how Dean taught you to dress yourself, it is only natural you would struggle to find your teaching stride."

Dean burst out laughing at Sam's expression, a mixture of annoyance and irritability as well as a bit of indulged humor.

Once Cas' shirt was in position, Sam stepped back and looked at Cas' shorts, which were on backwards as well.

"Cas, how do you manage on your own," Sam asked as he ran a hand over his face with a groan.

"I am never on my own Sam," Cas explained plainly. "I am an angel of the Lord. I am never alone as he is with me."

Dean glanced at Cas, wondering how he could still be spouting that after all their vain efforts to find the douche that was on heavenly sabbatical. He didn't miss Sam's glance at him. He shrugged and looked away, not wanting to talk about it. If Sam wanted to play the vacation card, he could play the 'don't wanna talk about it' card.

"Well, I meant more like how you manage to survive at all with your vessel," Sam explained he continued to scrutinize the shorts.

"My vessel does not require the maintenance that you humans do," Castiel explained.

"Yeah, I get that. Never mind," Sam exasperatedly commented with a shake of his head. "You've got to fix your shorts. Go back into the bathroom and turn them around. The drawstring should be in the front."

Cas looked down and pulled on the waistband. "Are you quite sure," he asked Sam, looking like he didn't believe Sam.

"Yes," Sam replied.

Cas looked over at Dean and waited quietly.

"What? You want my vote? Believe me, Sam's not going to steer you wrong about this," Dean grinned. "He wants you to blend in. Go ahead."

Sam snorted derisively as Cas walked to the bathroom. "That figures. I spent all day with him and he still needs your validation before he tries anything I suggest," Sam stated with a huff.

"Hey! It's not my fault," Dean said with a shrug. "He's got some weird hang up about you."

They waited until Cas returned and proudly presented them with his corrected shorts alignment. Sam gave him an awkward pat on the back before asking, "Where are your shoes? The flip flops I got you."

Cas turned and ran to his room, calling out as he did, "I can do this one by myself, I assure you!"

Sam and Dean exchanged worried looks, Sam glancing at the clock. They had ten more minutes before they needed to be next door.

They heard a loud crash, but Dean stopped Sam from moving. "Wait, he said he's got this. I say we wait and see what happens," he said with a smile.

Sam huffed and crossed his arms.

They waited a full two minutes before Cas came strutting up the hallway, pride never before so openly etched onto his face.

He beamed as he stepped into the room. Sam held back the urge to slam his own head against the door.

"Dude, you don't wear socks with flip flops," Dean said, trying to keep from laughing.

Cas looked confused. "But I saw many people today in the Animal Kingdom wearing socks with their flip flops," he replied. "Are you sure of what you're talking about, Dean? I have never seen you wear flip flops before. Mayhap you are mistaken."

Dean chuckled and said, "No. I'm certain about this one."

Sam loaded grocery bags with the snacks he had laid out and waited at the door. He watched as Cas pulled his socks off before begrudgingly handing them over to Dean.

Dean patted his shoulder as Cas fought to get his flip flops back on. "You put them on right, just with the wrong type shoe," Dean said as he consoled the rebuked angel.

Cas didn't say anything as he wiggled his naked toes and frowned. "Toes are odd; they are most disconcerting to look at. I preferred the socks," he explained.

"You can wear them later," Dean said with a laugh.

"Okay, Cas, I think we need a quick tutorial before we go over there," Sam stated. "They have three kids and parents are protective over their kids. Chris is already a little jumpy, might be a little PTSD or just some adjusting back to home life. Whatever you do, don't just 'poof' around the place. Walk. At a normal human pace. Don't touch any of them, unless they initiate it first, like a handshake. Okay?"

Cas nodded slowly. "Is Chris ill? I could—"

"No Cas! You don't try and 'fix' him either," Sam exclaimed as a look of horror passed over his face. "Your angel mojo has been a little off lately. And you DO NOT practice on Chris!"

Cas looked at Sam indignantly before looking at Dean, his gaze firm.

Dean held his hands up. "Don't look at me like that," he said. "You heard him!"

Sam shook his head and muttered, "I should have left you two here."

"You still can," Dean quipped.

Sam's glared ended the argument.

They walked down their stairs and headed next door. Cas grabbed one of the bags from Sam's hand.

"I would like to help present our righteous gift of salsa and chips," he stated as he gripped the bag tightly. "I did help Dean pick them out at the gas station in Georgia."

"Um—okay," Sam said.

"Far cry from frankincense and myrrh," Dean mumbled as he followed them up the stairs to the next tree house.

Sam knocked and was surprised when the daughter answered it. She was wearing cat ears and stared up at him, she was so little he looked even taller next to her. He kneeled down and said, "Hi Katie. We're joining you for dinner!"

She leaned around him and looked up at Cas, before whispering in Sam's ear, "Is he really an angel? TJ said he is."

Sam tried not to panic, damn observant kids. He smiled at her and said, "If TJ said he is, then yes, he is. But don't tell anyone."

She looked at Sam, eyes wide and nodded. "Okay," she said as she held the door open before running into the kitchen.

Jenn stepped into the living room and smiled, saying, "Come on in. Katie wanted to watch the door for you guys."

Sam, Dean, and Cas stepped into the large living room; Jenn making the introductions.

Cas glanced around before saying, "You appear to have lost one child. You had three while in the park today. I see only two now."

Chris laughed and replied, "Yeah, Joey is hiding out in his room playing on his PS3. Guess he's gearing up for the hard core teenage years, I guess."

Sam nodded his head and said, "We brought a few things to add into dinner. Not a lot, Oreos, chips and salsa. Some soda too."

Cas presented his bag to Jenn with the esteemed look of someone presenting the Queen with a new country. Jenn looked at Cas with a grin and chuckled lightly before taking the bags to the kitchen.

"We're doing fajitas, that all right with you guys," Jenn called from the kitchen.

"Sounds great," Dean remarked as he walked into the kitchen, remembering Sam's instructions to be helpful and to not weirdly avoid Jenn. He glanced over at Chris, who was talking to Sam. And what were the odds that he was shorter than Chris too; friggin sasquatch genes were everywhere.

He glanced in the other room, Cas was being towed away by TJ and Katie, toys in hand. Cas looked at Dean curiously and allowed himself to be propelled down the hallway and out of sight.

Dean chuckled and returned to the kitchen to help Jenn. She was wrist deep in bell peppers, onions, and meat, humming The Ocean under her breath. He looked at her in surprise, but shrugged it off; they were about the same age, after all. Probably had a few similar tastes.

He sat down at the counter on a barstool and watched as she sliced and diced her way through the pile before opening the fridge and setting a Boston Lager in front of him. He glanced at Sam, noticing he already had one in hand. He watched as she uncapped her own Guinness before returning to the stove, still humming.

"Hey Jenn," Dean remarked. "Any clue where your kids have taken Cas to? He's disappeared."

Jenn glanced around the open rooms and said, "Check a few rooms down, I imagine the kids have him. TJ couldn't stop talking about him."

Dean headed down the hallway and headed for the sound of a television. He nearly dropped his beer when he found Cas.

Cas was sitting on the floor, watching Disney's Cars, while TJ explained what was going on; Katie was busy putting tiny pastel barrettes in Cas' hair. Cas seemed completely involved in the movie, asking more questions as TJ explained everything. Leave it to Cas to suddenly be perfectly normal around kids, Dean thought to himself.

Dean headed back into the kitchen, spotting Sam and Chris sitting outside on the patio, talking, drinking, and smoking cigars. He was tempted to join them, but Jenn was still working in the kitchen and he knew it would be rude to leave her there alone. He slid back onto the bar stool and picked up an IPod from the counter. She pointed to a small USB speaker and said, "Find us something to listen to while I finish dinner."

Dean plugged the IPod in and began to shuffle through the playlist, amazed at the song selection. He stopped on The Ocean and hit play. The speaker was better quality than he expected and was even more surprised when Jenn leaned over and cranked the volume, belting out the words with such force that it would have put Dean's shower singing to shame.

He glanced at Sam through the sliding glass door; Sam smirked and shook his head.

Sam turned back to Chris and asked, "So how much longer you guys in Disney for?"

"Just a few more days," Chris said as he motioned with his head at the window towards Jenn, who was busy singing over the stove. "Any longer than that, and I'll have to start sleeping with an eye open."

Sam laughed and asked, "I take it Disney was not her top choice for vacation?"

Chris shook his head and said, "No. Not at all. She was thinking Chicago Comicon, I was thinking Disney. Don't ask me how, but I won this one. I get the impression that your brother was the same way."

"Oh yeah, big time," Sam stated as he rolled his beer bottle in his hand, gazing at it. "I actually didn't tell him where I booked our vacation. He fell asleep at the state line and didn't wake up until I parked the car here at the hotel. I couldn't even let him drive, I was afraid I'd fall asleep and wake to find that he was driving us to some no man's land to look at the world's largest ball of twine or biggest peanut."

Chris snorted into his beer and coughed as he laughed. "Okay, that's pretty bad. When Jenn found out, she pouted for days. Burnt my toast, 'forgot' to wash my uniform, and get this: she always makes me lunch for work and the day after I told her about Disney, she made me a cold cut sandwich and she didn't take the wrappers off the cheese slices! I nearly died from choking."

Sam burst out laughing and said, "I learned a long time ago to be leery of any food Dean makes or offers to me when he's mad."

"Now I just gotta ask, how is it you two-well, you three, are taking this trip together," Chris asked. "Jenn tells me you guys work together. So how can you possibly take a vacation together? Seems like a vacation would be a way to get a break from each other."

Sam ran a hand over his head and nodded. "You're right about that too. But our work is intense and we've had each other's backs for years. Whereas it's really tough to be around each other all the time, it's almost worse when we take a break for any reason. We've done it a few times, one or both of us always manages to find trouble," Sam explained as he watched Dean through the window. "Arguments, hospitalizations, addictions, car crashes, jobs gone wrong, you name it, we've been there and survived that. Since our parents are gone, we take looking after each to a whole new, unhealthy level. And that means if I have to drag my older brother off to Disney, then so be it."

Chris nodded in understanding. He was a soldier. He understood having someone's back.

Inside the tree house, Dean and Jenn were on their way to drunk and nearly disorderly. Jenn stirred the mixture on the stove and squealed as Houses of the Holy burst from the speakers. Dean laughed and tried to keep up with her overly enthusiastic singing. He had to admit, he was having a good time, not that he'd admit that to Sam—ever. He briefly wondered how Sam was doing outside on the deck with Chris; he had glanced outside a few times and noticed they seemed to be in deep conversation, occasionally glancing inside at the rowdy pair and shaking their heads in disbelief.

Jenn set a stack of plates and napkins in front of Dean and motioned to the table. "You wanna set it," she asked. "We're nearly ready."

Dean nodded and picked up the stack before heading to the table. As he worked to set the table, something he didn't think he had ever done before, he suddenly felt time slow down as he observed everything around him: Jenn, with her pink hair, singing happily at the top of her lungs; Chris and Sam having a friendly conversation over a beer; Cas being entertained by two young kids, who were just as entertained by him. As he glanced out the sliding glass door at Sam, laughing and drinking a beer with new friend, Dean realized this was what Sam had really wanted. Not just a trip, not just a vacation; he wanted normal, he wanted friends, and dinners, and everything their life could never be. He felt his stomach sink slightly as he realized it; this is exactly what Sam really wanted. And they might only have a few more days of it.

He would have to try and do better.

"Dean, would you go round up everyone for dinner," Jenn asked as she began to set bowls of food onto the table. "We're ready to eat."

Dean knocked on the patio door and gave the guys the 'let's eat' signal before heading down the hallway. He found the oldest son totally absorbed into his PS3 and had to explain twice that dinner was ready, and that no, he and Sam were not 'together'.

Dean shook his head in disbelief before finding Cas with Katie and TJ.

"Cas, kids, let's go," Dean said as he rapped on the doorframe. "Dinner's getting cold."

Cas trailed behind and looked at Dean curiously before saying, "Are you alright Dean? You seem somewhat somber."

"I'm fine Cas," Dean mumbled. "I'm not the one with two dozen glittery barrettes in my hair."

"Katie assured me they will bring out my eyes; however, I am quite sure my eyes are best suited in their current positions," Cas said as he followed Dean to the table.

"Good plan," Dean said. "Keep them right where they are. Might scare everyone if you don't."

Cas appeared puzzled and was about to ask another question when Dean held his hand up to stop him. "No more questions tonight Cas," Dean stated. "Not until later, like after I can lay down and close my eyes for a while, okay?"

"As you wish, Dean," Cas replied.

Dinner was more involved that Dean was hoping for; Cas being the focus of Jenn's attention. After her fifth question, Cas looked at her and said, "You will have to forgive me. I am unsure how to best answer you and Dean has already stated that he will not be answering any of my questions until his bedtime."

Sam choked on his beer and glowered at Dean.

Dean shrugged and said, "That's not quite how I put it."

"Perhaps Dean will allow me the top bunk tonight and I can pose questions for him to answer. Jenn, I will have better answers for you tomorrow," Cas replied as Sam, Chris, and Jenn snickered as Dean turned bright red.

"He wanted to watch Indiana Jones! I fell asleep in the bunk beds," Dean tried to explain. "It's not a huge deal!"

Two hours, four cigars, a case of beer, and a round of shots later; Dean and Sam were stumbling up their stairs, Cas following behind. Dean was still trying sing, but the lyrics were all jumbled. He giggled slightly when he realized he had messed up Ramble On for the third time.

Sam dropped the keys and sighed. "Cas, a little help maybe," he chuckled as he tried to pick up the keys again.

Cas reached out and took their hands in his own. Sam and Dean instantly felt the coolness of air moving past them and the dizzying sensation of the world shifting.

Sam felt himself falling. He landed face down on his bed; he sighed tiredly and said, "Thanks Cas."

Dean felt the floor rushing up at him, unable to slow himself down.

-THUMP—

"CAS! -What was that," Dean groaned from the floor. He rolled over and held his head. He couldn't tell if it was swimming from the booze or the angel poofing around the hotel.

Cas looked down at him from over the top rail of the bunk bed and said, "You tensed up. I have told you before, to please not move when I am moving you by using my angelic abilities. You will make things worse."

Dean lay on the floor and asked, "Where is Sam?"

"He is asleep in his bed," Cas replied as he dropped the remote on top of Dean. "I would like to watch a movie now."

Seriously," Dean asked with a slight grin even though his head was pounding.

"Yes, the Cars movie will be sufficient," Cas called from the top bunk.

"Who knew," Dean mumbled from his position on the floor. "One trip to Disney and suddenly you're giving up the pizza man for animated automobiles."

Unknown to the Winchesters, just a minute's walk away, Jenn was leaning against her window. She shivered in excitement and the knowledge she had been right. The instant they had disappeared off of their own doorstep, she knew.

Now…what to do about it.

**Please review for more mouse ears!**

**Anyone out there recognize the comment about Sam's ass and Jim Walsh? Ten points to anyone who knows it! **

**My EXTREME APOLOGIES for the delay on this chapter. I have decided, humor is the hardest thing for me to write. Who knew?! **

**Winnjennster, thanks for calling off your hellhounds. I WILL FINISH THIS! **


	8. Journey Into Epcot Hell, Part One

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural…..except for my attic ghost…he kinda came with the house. I also have no Disney affiliations or rights. **

**Author's Note: Sooooooo sorry for the delay. I took April to compete in NaNoWriMo and although I managed the deadline, I kinda sorta fried my brain. Badly! But anyhow, April is over and I'M BACK! Be looking for updates on Circus Fever and some catch up drabbles also! Now…..where are my Mickey Mouse ears for this project?...Winjennster! Seen my ears anywhere?!**

**PS: I have reason to believe that holding onto this chapter any longer may in fact be endangering my life. WinJennster knows where I live, and this is truly a story for her. Since this particular chapter is already surpassing the 4k mark, I've decided to lob it off and make it a two part chapter. Don't kill me…..especially you, WinJennster! ;)**

Mere hours after Dean had been deposited quite gracelessly upon the hotel floor by Castiel; he was standing in the tree house's kitchen, staring down Sam across the counter. He couldn't tell which one of them was more hung over: Sam's eyes were still red and glazed over but Dean still stunk of tequila and beer. At least Sam had taken a few minutes to get showered. Dean was still far from it.

"Why are we here," Dean asked again as he tried to shade his eyes from the fluorescent light overhead.

Sam tried to scowl at him, but his own hangover was leaving him feeling far from ready to fight with Dean.

"Cause its vacation, Dean," Sam grumbled as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Yeah, I know that Sammy. I'm not asking why we—the Winchester brothers, bad ass monster hunters that we are, are standing in a hotel tree house, in Disney, in friggin Florida, in the USA, on the planet Earth. I am asking we—still being all of those same things—are up at **8 friggin AM** after we had a late night drinking tequila with the neighbors," Dean exclaimed loudly, noticing how Sam's grimace deepened at his words.

Sam let out a deep sigh and ran a hand through his messy hair. "We are up early because we are going to Epcot today, okay? And regardless of our very late last night, we are getting an early start today."

Dean crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Sam. "You can't make me," he stated firmly as he slowly shook his head. "I am a grown man. I am capable of saying 'no' to my little brother. So here it is, I am NOT going to Epcot with you today. I'm going to go back to my bed and sleep until at least five this evening and after that, I'd be happy to meet you at the bar and have a repeat of last night; cause that is my dream vacation. Deal?"

"No. Get dressed. I worked my ass to get us here, so dammit but we're going to enjoy every day of this even it kills us both," Sam argued back firmly, as he pulled the kitchen dish towel from the hook and twisted it in his hands, a small smirk on his face. "Think I don't mean it?"

Castiel walked into the kitchen just as Dean yelped in pain, stepping away from Sam while coddling his hand, his mouth twisted into a pouty frown. Sam looked from Dean to Cas innocently, the twisted dishtowel dangling from his hand.

"Well Cas, you look ready for today," Sam commented. "Any problems with your flip flops?"

"No Sam, I managed quite well this time, thank you for your inquiry," Castiel replied in his usual monotone voice. "I am quite ready to enjoy another day here."

Dean snorted derisively and turned away from both of them, their enthusiasm for Disney making his hangover worse.

"Dean, I was aware that we would be going into the Disney park today," Castiel said as he held out a plastic shopping bag. "To make your vacation more enjoyable, I picked this shirt out for you yesterday. Sam paid, as I do not carry anything that your fellow humans consider to be of monetary value. The man at the counter assured me it would improve your mood and ability to blend in with the other vacationing humans. I am looking forward to today, I will have many questions for you, as Sam explained that he is not going to be available to answer my questions. Today is your turn."

Dean looked from Castiel to Sam, his face impassive even though he was beginning to turn a shade red. He held out a reluctant hand and took the bag from Castiel, refusing to look at Sam as he did.

"So, Dean, what's the plan," Sam asked with a triumphant smile. "Are you going to get dressed or do you need some more persuasion?"

Dean mumbled under his breath making Sam clear his throat loudly.

"What was that, Dean," Sam asked as he twisted the dishtowel in his hands, the subtle weapon ready to make another snap in Dean's direction.

Dean headed for the hallway, his voice loud and annoyed as he said, "Apparently, I've got a day pass to Epcot hell. **Excuse me while I go and strap on my vacation uniform**!"

Castiel watched as Dean stormed down the hallway before asking Sam, "Are you and Dean well? You were both quite intoxicated when I placed you in your bed and Dean on the floor just a few hours ago."

"Yeah, we're fine. Just a little hung over is all," Sam said as he grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge. "Wait—why did you put Dean on the floor?"

Castiel turned to Sam and said emotionlessly, "He moved while we were mid-flight. I have warned him several times about such reckless behavior. Unfortunately, it resulted with him on the floor. I can assure you, no harm came to him although since he did sleep on the floor he might be experiencing some back discomfort."

"Hey Cas, head into my bathroom, we need to work on something before we head out today," Sam said. "I'll be there in a minute."

As Castiel headed into Sam's room, Sam paused in the hallway long enough to hear Dean cursing and mumbled to himself in his own room. Sam smirked and continued on to his own room.

Dean, meanwhile, was trying to pry the small window open in his bedroom. It begrudgingly slid open a few inches before the safety latch caught. He stuck his head through the opening before closing his eyes and sighing in deep frustration, he couldn't escape through the window. He hung his head as he dialed Bobby. He knew Bobby wouldn't drive to Florida to save him from something so trivial as vacation, but dammit if Bobby wasn't somewhat responsible. He deserved to hear some of the bitching, maybe not as much as Sam did, but some was more deserved than none.

"_What's wrong now, TinkerBell_," Bobby asked as he answered the phone.

Bobby didn't need to see Dean to know he was rolling his eyes and getting red tinged with annoyance.

"Bobby, this is hell on earth," Dean stated. "I hate this."

"_Dean, it's Disney World, not hell. And don't tell me you can't hack it_," Bobby said firmly. "_Not after half the crap you put me and your brother through_."

"When," Dean demanded, feigning ignorance, as he turned from the window and glared at the shopping bag on the bed.

"_I think you mean, which time_," Bobby replied. "_In case you've forgotten, Sam has been riding shotgun his entire life. He needs some time off, not from hunting, just from life. This is him taking time off_."

"Seriously, Bobby, you need to lay off the Dr. Phil afternoon reruns," Dean snapped. "And Sam could have done this alone."

"_Then you're a bigger idjit than I thought_," Bobby asked incredulously. "_You and Sam can't split up for more than two hours without something bad happening_. _He'd be a moron to think you wouldn't find trouble on your own_."

"Stop exaggerating," Dean mumbled even though he knew Bobby was most likely right.

"_Suck it up, if for no other reason than to make your brother less miserable_," Bobby said. "_You've been doing that for most of your life; a few more days aren't going to kill you."_

"Whatever," Dean mumbled. "Any jobs come up?"

"_One_," Bobby admitted. "_I got it covered. Not a huge deal, just some revenant up in Washington. And you two are quite a ways out from that job. Got Garth on it, he was already in Oregon_."

Dean sighed into the phone and mumbled, "Fine. Call us if anything in our time zone pops up. Doesn't matter what it is, we'll take it."

"_I'm sure you would_," Bobby chuckled. "_Now go suck it up and take this vacation like a man."_

"Says the man who has never taken a vacation in his life," Dean quipped before he snapped his phone shut. He turned and glared at the shopping bag before he dumped its contents onto the bed. He groaned as he pulled the t-shirt apart, it was Peter Pan; in fact, it was practically identical to the one Castiel had worn the night before. He snorted as he tossed it back on the bed. If Sam was going to force him to go to stupid Epcot, he could at least slow them down a little. He grabbed a change of clothes and headed towards his bathroom.

A room away, Castiel was staring at Sam, his expression uncertain.

"Just try it Cas, trust me, this is something you need to work on," Sam said encouragingly, smiling widely. "This will make you seem more human, we use expression to convey feelings. You are always stone faced and that makes people feel kinda weird."

Castiel concentrated on Sam's expression before saying, "Smiling is not something that is necessary in my job. Humans smile for everything, I find it very confusing. It is most used to express happiness, but I have seen many people use it to mask poor intentions. If I use it, how will it be interrupted?"

Sam tried to keep the smile from slipping from his face, he briefly considered that he either not drunk enough to handle Castiel at this hour, or far to hung over for this kind of lesson. He stood behind Castiel and rotated him to face the mirror.

"Okay, now smile," Sam said encouragingly.

Castiel looked at Sam's smile before concentrating on his own face. "I have done as you asked," Castiel stated.

Sam rolled his eyes before saying, "Castiel, your expression never changed. Try again. It should look something like mine."

Castiel frowned at Sam's reflection in the mirror before staring at his own face. His forehead furrowed as he slowly tried to contort his mouth into some semblance of a smile. He leaned close to the mirror and fought to turn the edges of his lips upright. Sam watched in amusement, Castiel seemed to be genuinely trying, but it came off looked as if he was investigating his own teeth.

Sam watched as Castiel's frown only deepened, his expression getting farther and farther from a smile as he tried harder and harder to make his lips move properly.

"Cas, look at my face in the mirror. See how smiling looks relaxing and forthcoming? Cause it is; don't force it. Can't you tap into Jimmy's human abilities or something," he asked.

Castiel shook his head as he said, "No, I must do this myself. I am a mighty warrior of the Lord. I can do this."

As Sam heard Dean's shower kick on, he felt his tempter begin to flare. "Cas, keep practicing. I'll be right back."

Sam stormed down the hallway and knocked loudly on the thin door. "Dean, I want us out the door in fifteen minutes, you got it?"

Dean didn't respond to Sam's nagging; except to begin singing at the top of his lungs. Sam glared at the bathroom door as the lyrics for 'Henry the Eighth' poured through the door. Sam gave the door one last loud thump, one that he would have rather landed right on Dean's head; before he turned and headed back into his bathroom. Castiel was still right where Sam had left him, staring awkwardly into the mirror, his Mickey Mouse ears standing at attention.

"Cas, how are you doing with the smiling thing," Sam asked with a sigh.

Sam jumped back as Castiel turned and looked at him. His lips were pulled tightly back from his mouth, his teeth bared in some bizarrely scary deranged half-smile; his eyes where bulged out, the sheer expression making Sam cringe.

"Dude, stop doing that," Sam said, although he couldn't tear his eyes away from Castiel's horrific expression. "That's terrifying— **and I hunt monsters for a living**!"

Castiel expression instantly reverted his usual stone faced expression. "What did I do incorrectly," Castiel asked. "I believe my smile closely resembled yours. Perhaps you are a poor judge of smiles."

"Cas, if my face ever looks like that, take me to the hospital because it means I'm having a stroke," Sam muttered before he shifted Castiel back to the mirror. "Now look at mine more closely. You can have a toothy smile, but you don't want people to think you're about to bite their face off. Okay?"

"I will continue with my best efforts," Castiel proclaimed stoically. "You have had the benefit of Dean teaching you many things over the years, perhaps he would be more instructive in this lesson."

"Well considering that Dean has yet to crack a smile on this trip, I'd avoid any lessons from him at the moment. Besides, Dean didn't teach me to smile, it's something we just do," Sam grumbled. "Anything he'll teach you right now won't help you to blend in so much as it will just turn you into an ass."

"I don't believe Dean possesses the ability to transform me into a jackass, Sam," Castiel replied. "I think Heaven would have mentioned that in the details regarding Dean."

"Just watch closely, it should appear relaxed; not scary," Sam reiterated as he slowly let a smile blossom over his face. "Like that."

Castiel tried to mimic Sam, his face slowly moving from stern to something close to casually relaxed.

"Good," Sam encouraged. "Now try to add a smile. Not so many teeth this time."

He groaned as Castiel's face shifted back the horrific grin, teeth and gums exposed as his eyebrows lifted high onto his forehead.

Sam sighed, "Just keep trying Cas. Are you ready to head out?"

"I believe I am dressed to the same specifications of last night. Flip flops without socks, the drawstring on the shorts are on the front, and I have my new shirt on correctly," Castiel replied.

Sam looked over at Castiel and shook his head. "You're going to wear the same thing you wore last night," he asked.

"I have worn my suit for many years without a problem," Castiel replied, confused. "Why would my Peter Pan shirt be any different?"

"Well, typically, we try not to repeat the same clothes day in and day out," Sam explained, hoping that Castiel would able to attract less attention than he had yesterday.

"I frequently see you and Dean wearing the same clothing," Castiel counter argued.

"Yeah, well, we wash them between wearing them," Sam said trying to end the conversation.

Castiel looked down at his new shirt and said, "Shall I remove this so you can wash it?"

"No," Sam said getting flustered by the conversation. "Just leave it on. I guess you couldn't have gotten it messed up just by wearing it to Jen and Chris' last night for dinner."

Sam and Castiel were sitting standing in the kitchen when another round of 'Henry the Eighth' floated down the hallway.

"Sam, may I ask you a question," Castiel asked.

"Sure Cas," Sam mumbled as he checked the clock for the twentieth time since he had gotten up that morning. He was really starting to wonder if he should have left Dean at Bobby's, handcuffed in the panic room. This whole plan of his to annoy Sam was really, really starting to work.

"What were your intentions for having dinner with neighbors last night," Castiel asked innocently. "I have been watching you and Dean for years and have never seen you take time to eat with another family before now."

Sam shrugged, suddenly aware that Castiel was scrutinizing him. "I just wanted to, okay? We don't get a chance to relax very often and it was nice to connect to a normal family for a little while. Talking about normal things: food, music, family, and just…normal stuff. Not about needing a supplier of brick dust for witches, or where to get a better fake ID, or anything that is in any way related to what we do. You understand?"

Castiel nodded even though it looked like he wanted to ask another question. Sam was saved from having to deal with it as Dean finally walked into the room, his irritation apparent.

Dean froze as he saw Castiel, his face turning a brilliant shade of red.

"Dude, we are **not** going to Epcot in matching shirts," he stated loudly.

Castiel stood up and walked next to Dean, standing side by side with him. "They are not the same, yours is gray and mine is blue," he stated.

Dean rolled his eyes. "The picture is the same."

Castiel looked from his own t-shirt to Dean's. "They are both Peter Pan. I was under the impression that in Disney, one dresses this way. Besides, I find the Peter Pan character to be most interesting," Castiel stated. "If you would prefer, I will wear my suit today so you may experience Peter Pan all by yourself."

"I'd rather wear my Metallica shirt," Dean grumbled. He watched as Castiel's face changed; his excitement to please Dean with the shirt short-lived.

"Fine, you know what, I'll wear it," Dean mumbled as he tugged at the collar. "Whatever."

"If you two are ready, I'd like to get a move on," Sam snapped. "We're already running behind."

"Sam, vacations don't come with schedule or deadlines," Dean said as he stepped out of the tree house's door.

"Well, ours does," Sam retorted.

The walk to the monorail was quiet, mostly because Sam refused to acknowledge Dean's further attempts to slow them down; which included everything from having to stop and retie his shoelace twice, trying to double back to the room for a different shirt, to making crude noises behind Sam as he asked someone for directions.

Sam scowled at Dean as he dropped onto a plastic bench in the monorail, far from the other passengers. "You know, I wanted to do this vacation so we could have a break from all the crap we normally deal with. If you wanted to drop the asshole act and enjoy it, it wouldn't be the end of the world," Sam stated firmly. He didn't miss the way Dean tensed up and glared at him.

"Sam, you got me here," Dean said. "Don't ask me to smile like a friggin idiot every time I see a goofy character from some cartoon we saw back when we were kids."

Dean shifted in his own seat, hoping to get Castiel on his side before Sam attempted to throw him from the monorail. He came face to face with Castiel; who was leaning close to Dean, his teeth bared as his lips were pulled tightly open, his eyebrows pulled high upon his forehead.

"Holy crap, Cas," Dean exclaimed as he scrambled back from him. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Sam bit his cheek as he watched Castiel's expression return to normal. "I am smiling, Dean," he explained. "Sam has provided me with a lesson and I need to practice."

Dean glanced at Sam before hesitantly looking back to Castiel. "I would give up now, Cas," he said as he shook his head. "That looked a lot like something we took out in Wisconsin a few years ago, you're lucky I wasn't armed—I could have killed you!"

"I was not aware that smiling evoked such a powerful reaction from people," Castiel stated, sounding somewhat confused. "Sam said it would help me to blend in."

Dean looked angrily at Sam, who shrugged innocently.

"He needs to learn some other expressions, more than that stone-faced encyclopedia salesman face he always has," Sam said.

"He's supposed to be some heavenly bad ass and you want him to look like what? Some friendly salesman selling door to door mammograms," Dean retorted. "I mean look at him now—He went from stern salesman in a trench coat to creepy, weird pedophile in a Peter Pan shirt in a matter of seconds with that face."

"I was just trying to help him," Sam argued.

"By giving him a smiling lesson," Dean exclaimed, glad that no one was sitting close enough to overhear them. "When did this lesson happen, anyways?"

"While you were showering this morning," Castiel stated. "It was my first lesson. I will have to continue to practice."

"Just go easy with that," Dean replied. "You look like you got hit with Joker gas."

They sat silently for the rest of the trip, Castiel stern the entire time, although Dean swore he could see Castiel trying to lift the sides of his mouth. Sam was clenching his teeth as they stepped off the monorail, his frown so deep Dean was tempted to tease him about wrinkles. He took a different approach to annoyance instead.

"This is got to be the best place for any kind of fugly to hang out," Dean remarked casually as he glanced around. "Bet there's a job to be done around here if we bother to look."

"No Dean, we are not here to work," Sam snapped as he gazed up at the giant silver ball that marked the entrance to the park. "Besides, what kind of fugly stakes out Disney World?"

Dean turned towards Sam and said, "I'd say just about any kind. Think about it, family goes to Disney for some great family fun, when suddenly—Surprise! They get eaten by something. Maybe a vamp or a rawhead. Or better yet, a Leviathan! Yeah, this place would be the perfect chomping ground for a Leviathan."

"Dean, quit being an ass," Sam snapped.

"Dude, think about it—some American for breakfast, some Spanish for lunch, and an Asian tourist for dinner….or maybe men for breakfast, women for lunch, and their kids the dinner," Dean said. "Or better yet—Blondes for breakfast, brunettes for lunch, and red heads for dinner."

"Dean, stop being so racist," Sam exclaimed with a groan.

"Dude, I'm not being racist! I'm profiling potential victims, people we should be protecting," Dean said defensively. "We're standing amongst the biggest human buffet we've ever seen and you just wanna go ride on some dumbass educational rides?"

"What are you talking about," Sam asked, as he pulled his own Mickey Mouse ears on.

"I know what Epcot really is, Sam! It's all about different countries and stuff. It's got geography and culture and crap; it's educational," Dean said childishly. "I don't want to go!"

Sam rolled his eyes and ran a hand over his tired face. "Well, I'm sorry that they forgot to install a bunny ranch for your big trip to Disney, but I think you can handle it. Besides, Chris and Jen and their kids are also in Epcot today so if you're lucky we'll run into them," Sam said as he pulled his map out of his pocket. "You and Jen can talk about cars and junk."

Dean turned towards Sam and angrily poked him in the shoulder, getting his attention. "Junk? Cars and junk? You wanna walk back to South Dakota, because I'd be happy to leave you here," Dean snapped. "You insult Baby again and I will stuff your sasquatch ass into one of these Mickey Mouse shaped garbage cans."

If it hadn't been for the likelihood that Dean would actually do it, Sam might have been tempted to laugh at his brother, his Peter Pan shirt and Mickey Mouse ears making him look ridiculous.

"Whatever you say Dean," Sam replied as he led the way into the park.

The next hour was spent slowly roaming in and out between different countries. Dean refused to smile at the large wooden gnome creature in Norway, even though Castiel was trying to identify the exact species.

They watched a drumming show which Sam enjoyed until Castiel stated he remembered when that drumming style was originally developed and how far from the original craft it had become. Dean was mildly amused by the synchronized drummers until he spotted a flash of pink hair off to his left. He didn't hesitate as he darted away from Sam and hustled through the crowd. He would willingly take some Chuck fan to talk to before he would spend the day following Sam around; at least she could talk about cars and music.

He followed behind Jen for a few steps, matching her long stride before she whipped around, looking ready to take down whatever it was she felt stalking her.

"Oh! Sorry Dean," she said as she lowered her hands.

"Thought I was someone needing an ass kicking," Dean asked with a chuckle.

"Nah, just hoping you were," she muttered with a yawn. "I'm way to hung over for a drumming show at this hour. I was ready to break Chris' legs this morning when he said we had to get a move on. He has way to much energy, I just wanted to sleep in."

Dean didn't miss the way her eyes were squinting behind her Buddy Holly glasses.

"Yeah, same here, Sam needed to be duct taped and left in a closet so I could finish sleeping," Dean said. "He and Cas are somewhere around here. Sam's enthusiasm is going to kill me."

"Yeah, I get that. Chris should have left me at the hotel. Kinda hoping he'll just give in and let me wander back to the hotel later, but I can't imagine the attitude I'll catch for it later," she said as she led the way to Chris and her kids.

Dean wasn't surprised to find Sam already talking to Chris while TJ and Katy pulled Castiel over to watch the drummers again.

Jen leaned over and quietly said, "Look at them. Vacationers from hell. Wanna see who we can send into a hissy fit first?"

Dean smirked as he adjusted his Mickey Mouse ears, replying quietly, "Let's do this."

**~PLEASE REVIEW~ NEED FUEL FOR THE WRITING MACHINE!**

**Okay, this is one LONG half chapter. More Epcot adventuring up next chapter! **

**And WinJennster, hope you liked it! You've been remarkably patience…hehehehehe Next chapter up soon! **

**Please leave a review! I mean it-you wanna see Castiel's first public smile, you better review. Trust me. You wanna see this. And Sam and Chris, poor boys—They don't stand a chance! Bwahahaha! **


	9. Journey Into Epcot Hell, Part Two

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. Or Disney. Or anything else that cool….**

**Author's Note: Thanks for the great reviews on the last chapter! They are far better than chocolate…or even Funyuns….and I LOVE them! So, now you know how important your reviews truly are. My junk food stash pales in comparison to your carb-free treats. I need more!**

Chris and Sam were a few yards ahead, the kids trailing directly behind them, each holding one of Castiel's hands. He was allowing himself to be pulled this way and that, Katie and TJ talking non-stop about watching Cars the night before; while Joey slowly trudged behind, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he tuned out everyone in the way only a teenager can do.

"How have you kept Dean from just leaving," Chris asked suddenly, glancing behind them, making sure Dean and Jen were out of earshot.

"I took his keys," Sam quietly admitted. "You know how the hotel offers safe services for valuables? Well….I checked the Impala's keys in under a fake name. And I rearranged the spark plug wires on the distributor cap and as an after thought I just removed the battery, it's locked up in the trunk. It's not going anywhere."

"I guess Jen and Dean are more alike than we thought," Chris said. "I hid the keys to the Xb as well. I dropped them down the back of toilet tank in a waterproof diver container. So far, she hasn't found them yet. Not that it would matter though, I took the battery out of the key fob."

"I guess we know what we're up against at least," Sam said with a worried grin.

Jen and Dean kept a few paces back, opening mocking the attractions while slowly formulating a plan of attack for their vacation wardens.

"Dude, what's with the Peter Pan shirt? You and your 'friend' look like weird non-identical twins…or lovers," Jen said passively as she tried to keep the blaring sun out of her sensitive eyes.

Dean huffed, once more thanking Chuck for the over-sexed cover illustrations; he was at least thankful that Jen was with them in the park, under his watchful eye and not at the pool reading those damn books and figuring out who they really were. "My ass of a brother let Cas pick out a shirt yesterday, and apparently Sam thought it would be hysterical to let Cas pick me out a matching one," Dean grumbled. "And the Mickey Mouse ears are worse, just so you know. I feel like everyone is staring at me."

Jen snickered quietly until she saw Dean's own bitch face; if looks could kill….

"So how bad do you wanna let this revenge get," Jen asked curiously as she glanced from Dean to Sam.

Dean's tired eyes narrowed as he stared at the back of his brother's head. He considered what Sam had put him through so far; the drive, the no say so in picking their destination, the early mornings, and finally the Peter Pan t-shirt. The grimace told Jen how badly he wanted revenge, but he mumbled softly, "As long as he's breathing and can tell me where my car keys are, I'm in. How about you?"

Jen thought about it before answering, "The kids are off limits, but we can totally use them to lay the revenge trap if need be."

Dean turned towards her and smiled deviously, "Jen, I like your style."

They continued to fall further and further behind until Sam and Chris had to stop walking entirely, waiting for their slacker vacation cohorts to catch up.

"So Chris, I don't want to keep you guys from your plans today," Sam said apologetically. "Besides, I don't want Dean to be a total vacation buzz kill for everyone he can come in contact with."

"Nah," Chris said with a shrug. "My brother is actually meeting us here in Epcot around 11am to get the kids; he's taking ours for the night for a sleepover so they can spend some time with cousins they don't see often. We'll be kid free in about two hours. This is perfect actually; it's been awhile since I've been able to just hang out with people."

Sam nodded his understanding, "Yeah, same here. We're always working."

"So if you guys are up for it, let's just see how this goes," Chris replied. "Besides have you considered that if they can bitch about their vacation hatred to each other, we have a free pass to tune them out?"

A small smile crept onto Sam's face as he nodded slowly. "That's perfect actually," he said. "You know we're going to be in for it though? You have no clue how bad my brother can be. He has played some horrific pranks when he feels he's been wronged."

Chris smiled and replied, "Trust me, Jen can top whatever he can do."

Sam and Chris locked eyes as a thought crossed through both of their minds. "It could also be a disaster," Sam said slowly.

Chris nodded worriedly. "Double the trouble."

They looked back at the pair, each sporting a sour expression as they open gestured and mocked the surrounding tourists. Chris noted the slight squint and tired expressions on each of their faces; a crooked and evil grin creeping over his own face.

"Does Dean have a hangover this morning," he asked. "Cause Jen sure does."

"Yeah, he wouldn't stop complaining about it earlier," Sam replied quickly. "What do you have in mind?"

"Just follow me, I've got this one covered," Chris said as he pointed the way.

As their group moved through the crowd, Chris navigated them to a stage within the Europe exhibit. He and Sam moved to sit on the benches facing the stage, the kids directing Castiel to a bench in front. Dean and Jen paused at the back, Dean exclaiming, "What is this? I'm hate shows!"

"This is gonna suck, shows are lame," Jen agreed as she followed Dean up the aisle. They sat right in front of Sam and Chris, hoping to block the view somewhat, just to be annoying.

As the performers took the stage, Dean was surprised; it was a band—sporting 80s rocker hair, knee highs, and kilts. He groaned as a bagpipe came into view, as well as drums and a guitar. He turned and glared back the Sam, the first squeal of the bagpipe cutting through his pounding head. He didn't miss the mischievous look in Sam's eyes. As the music got louder and faster, heavily accent-laden lyrics poured through the speakers.

Dean looked for Cas, who seemed mesmerized by the band. His mouth was hanging slightly open as he stared the band, which was doing some sort of rock stomp dance across the stage. The show was incredibly long, every bang on the drum making Dean's head throb, while every squeal on that blasted bag pipe made him want to turn and strangle Sam. He closed his eyes, trying to breathe slowly, trying to imagine that it wasn't some Scottish punk rockers on the stage, but maybe someone cooler….maybe Metallica….heck, he'd even take one of Sam's emo bands over this racket.

He glanced at Jen; her frown had deepened as well. Dean leaned back to Sam and asked, "This fun for you? Torturing your brother while he's hung over?"

Sam smiled without taking his eyes off of the stage, stating, "I'm having a good time, you could be too."

Dean frowned at his words and leaned towards Jen, saying quietly, "I think we have a challenge on our hands. We need to pick up the pace."

Jen didn't say anything, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she nodded slightly, her pink hair blowing in the light breeze.

"You hungry? I'm starved," she said loudly, turning to Chris and Sam. "Is there any place around here we can grab lunch?"

"We need to get the kids to the entrance for Stephen to pick up. We can grab lunch afterwards," Chris commented as Sam pulled his map, complete with highlighted route, from his pocket. After a minute of talking, they collected the kids and Cas (who was starting to tap his foot to the music, at TJ's insistence) and headed to the entrance of the park.

Sam and Cas sat at on a nearby bench; Cas staring up at the huge sliver ball that marked the entrance to Epcot. Dean stood a few feet away, refusing to sit next to Cas as long as they were wearing matching shirts; he didn't miss the way Sam watched Chris and Jen in the distance. Dean glanced at them, hugging the kids and waving as they headed off with their uncle and his girlfriend. Dean went back to studying Sam; he could almost see a wistful look in his eyes, and again he was reminded that once upon a time, in a different life, Sam would have been taking this vacation with a family of his own. Not just his pain in the ass brother, but a wife and kids.

He bit back another frown and watched as Jen and Chris started walking back towards them. They walked to a nearby restaurant, one that Sam assured Dean had burgers on the menu. As a waiter ushered them towards the patio, Jen nudged Dean's arm. "Okay, watch and learn," she said with a glance at their table. "Just help me get Chris and Sam sitting next to each other."

Dean nodded, somewhat confused by her statement. He dove for his chair and kicked one out towards Sam. He pushed Cas into a chair, close enough to keep him out of trouble; he just hoped Cas wouldn't intervene and try to save Sam from some justified revenge. He wanted to see Sam suffer, just a little bit.

Chris and Sam exchanged a look as they sat down across from Jen and Dean, each sporting an alarmingly innocent look.

"I'll be right back," Jen said as she quickly stood up and sauntered away. "Bathroom break."

Jen slid out of sight and headed straight for the manager, a goofy smile on her face as she began to explain what she needed. She was back to her innocent smile by the time she slid into her seat across from Chris. Lunch was remarkably quiet, making Sam nervous. Dean hadn't said anything negative in nearly forty minutes, a sure sign something bad was going to happen.

Sam was mid-bite when he saw it; a large candle laden cake headed right for them. As staff surrounded their table, the singing began; an outrageously enthusiastic version of Happy Birthday. He stopped chewing, his eyes boring a hole into Dean's smirking face, as Dean just stuffed another french fry into his mouth.

As the singing died down, the manager stepped up to the table, his face beaming as he gathered the attention of the nearby tables. "We have a very special event today! Chris and Sam are both celebrating their birthdays today, but even more special than that—they're celebrating their honeymoon," the man said proudly. "Chris, Sam, stand up!"

Chris was frozen on place, a piece of burger suddenly caught in his throat. He choked as Jen gave him a definite wink—one that might have seemed playful if it hadn't been for the slightly malicious grin on her face. At the prodding of the manager, Sam slowly rose from his chair; and not wanting to be alone in his embarrassment, grabbed Chris' arm and practically hauled him to his feet. The manager started clapping, encouraging the surrounding tables to join in. Dean and Jen clapped the loudest, while Cas looked on curiously, trying to move his own hands in a similar fashion.

"Why don't you kiss, you know, for the crowd," Dean said with a wicked smile.

Sam threw Dean his usual bitch face, while Chris looked terrified and made an attempt to put a little distance between him and Sam. The manager nodded and smiled, trying to encourage them, "Give us a kiss on the cheek!"

Sam leaned down to Chris' ear and whispered something. Chris slowly smiled at Jen and leaned towards Sam. Jen and Dean both froze mid clap, their eyes widening.

Sam leaned down and planted a solid kiss on Chris' forehead, who winked at Jen as he planted a kiss on Sam's cheek. The applause turned into cheering, even a whistle from somewhere across the restaurant.

Chris and Sam quickly sat back down, smiling, confident in their win as Jen and Dean sat quietly across the table, speechless as they could get.

"Nice touch, Jen," Chris said with a smirk. "Making it our birthdays just wasn't enough was it? You just had to make it a honeymoon too."

"Real mature, Dean," Sam stated firmly.

Dean shrugged and smiled. "Not my doing, Sammy," Dean said proudly as he patted Jen on the shoulder. "Found my prankster equal though."

Dean groaned as he glanced at Castiel, who had apparently started on the birthday cake. He had chocolate icing all around his mouth and was spoon deep in the cake sitting in front of him. "Dean, you must try this food that was provided to us by the restaurant," Castiel explained. "It is quite wonderful. What is this called?"

Dean looked uncomfortably at Cas before replying. "Its cake, chocolate to be specific," he said. "You have a ton of it on your face, Cas. Really man, go wipe it off."

As Castiel tried to wipe the chocolate from his face, really only making it worse, he asked, "I am quite curious, Sam. Are you and Chris now a couple? I am aware of this contract made between humans, but I was under the impression that a contract already existed between Jen and Chris. Is this now void?"

Sam shook his head in disbelief. "No Cas, it was a joke. We were showing Dean and Jen that we can beat them at their own game," he explained. "You understand?"

"No," Cas said honestly. "But I sense I am making you uncomfortable. I will save my questions for when we return to the hotel this evening."

Dean felt the scathing glare from Sam, but refused to make eye contact with him. He could put off the bitch face and lecture until later. It wasn't like he could really make Castiel less weird by just trying anyways.

As they walked out the restaurant, Sam and Chris received several smiles, thumbs ups, and even a few handshakes. When they were out of earshot, Chris pulled his own park map from his pocket. "Sam, I've got an idea," he said as he pointed to an exhibit on the map. Sam smiled and nodded.

The walk across the park was long, the Florida sun beamed down brightly overhead.

"I'm stopping for water," Dean called out as he headed to a nearby kiosk. Once he was sure no one was watching him, he grabbed an armful of bottle waters and a handful of salt packets. He crouched down behind the kiosk and quickly dumped a few packets into two of the bottles, shaking them until the salt dissolved. He sauntered back to his group, handing out bottle of water to everyone; pausing to shake his head at Cas' t-shirt.

Sam and Chris were busy talking over the map, and each took their bottles of water without any real notice. Sam was the first one to gag, looking around frantically before running towards the nearest garbage can, Chris just a step behind him.

After wrestling a bottle of water away from Dean, Chris and Sam were finally able to rinse the incredibly salty taste from their mouths. "That was just wrong," Sam mumbled as he spit into the trash can, the salt making his mouth pucker. "That was incredibly childish, Dean."

Dean innocently shrugged his shoulders before looked at Jen, "What did I do? My water was fine. How is your water, Jen?"

Jen took a long swig from her own water bottle before saying, "Mine is downright refreshing, nothing wrong with this one."

Chris snorted derisively as he tossed his own tainted water bottle in the trash. They continued their walk across the park, Dean and Jen again falling behind.

"So Dean…what's the deal with your friend Cas," Jen asked curiously. "He seems a little off somehow."

Dean struggled to find an answer, wondering just how far into Chuck's books Jen had read. "He's from out of town," he said, stumbling over the words.

"Where is he from," Jen asked, pushing for an answer, as she watched Cas in the distance.

"Uhhhh…New Zealand," Dean said quickly, remembering the weird characters from Flight of the Concords and hoping it was just a cultural weirdness.

"Really, never would have guessed it," Jen commented. "I was thinking Mars maybe."

Dean laughed, he knew Cas was weird, but an alien? He smiled at the thought of Cas wearing a Martian suit, roving the aisles of the local supermarket, trying everything in sight, as he asked for directions to the local pizza man.

"So you guys just drive around all the time," Jen asked. "Doing what?"

"Oh…just stuff….work mostly," Dean stammered. "We're kind of caught between a few states so we travel a lot."

"Spend any time in South Dakota," Jen asked innocently. "I've always wanted to see it."

"Um, yeah, we have a friend there," Dean admitted.

"And you have Ohio plates on you Impala," Jen stated.

"Yeah," Dean said slowly. He dropped back a step, wondering how to catch Sam's attention. Jen was putting it all together, if she hadn't already.

"And your from Kansas," Jen asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Um…yeah," Dean admitted slowly, trying to remember if he had previously told her that… 'Maybe Sammy did,' he thought to himself.

"You must know Carver Edlund then," Jen said suddenly, turning around quickly to face him. "You and your brother and weird friend must be friends with him! He has characters named after all of you, down to your plates and home town. So you're what? The inspiration for his books or something?"

Jen was surprised when Dean grabbed her arm and pulled her behind a group of tourists, out of sight from Sam, Chris, and Cas.

"Okay. Fine," he said frantically, hoping he could satisfy her with a realistic lie. "We know Carver Edlund. He's a reclusive writer we met years ago. He's modeled his characters after us somewhat, but he's taken _a lot_ of artistic license with plot and content. We're not monster hunters, obviously, because that would be nuts, right?! And we don't look _anything_ like the cover art! Sam and I have gotten some unwanted attention since he published those books. We're trying to do our thing without having to deal with Edlund's bullshit. Okay?"

Jen slowly nodded, trying to put together what she knew. "Okay, I just knew you had to have some sort of connection to Edlund," she said triumphantly.

Dean shuffled his feet uncomfortably before he started back in the direction of Sam.

As they caught back up, Dean groaned as the next exhibit came into view.

"Sam! I said nothing educational," Dean exclaimed as he angrily crossed his arms over his chest.

"Dean, it's a boat ride," Sam exasperated. "It's not a big deal."

"You know the rules, Sammy! I don't do shorts. Or cake. Or boats," Dean argued.

Sam took a step towards Dean, his face red, his breathing harsh. "No Dean, I don't know the rules," he said angrily. "Cause you make them up as you go along! Now get on the goddamn boat before I break both your legs and drag you on the boat with me—just so I can throw your grumpy ass overboard!"

Dean straightened his Mickey Mouse ears and tossed his shoulders back, lifting his chin high.

"Fine," he said dramatically. "Cas, you're sitting with me. Sam might need to ride in his own boat anyhow; his weight of his bitchiness might capsize our boat if we ride together."

Jen laughed aloud until Chris shot her his most disapproving look as he gestured her to join the line.

"What," she said with a shrug. "I'm not going on some boat ride. I'll hang out here."

"No, Jen," Chris argued. "This is vacation! Let's go! Forward march!"

Jen and Dean shuffled their feet as they headed up the line, Castiel a step behind them, trying to figure out why boating was so offensive. He had seen plenty of people do it over the millennia, very few seemed as outright annoyed by it as Dean.

"Does this boat go someplace that is unsatisfactory," Cas asked in his monotone voice.

"Yeah, hell," Dean mumbled as he glared at yet another man wearing the same t-shirt as himself.

"Dean, I do not believe this boat ride can in fact deliver us to hell. It would require some sort of demonic presence or possession, neither of which I can detect," Castiel stated, his voice dripping with concern.

Jen didn't turn around to look at Cas, but she did lean towards Dean and say, "New Zealand, huh?"

Dean felt his face getting red as he nodded weakly. "Yeah, well, he's got a wicked sense of humor," Dean said, mentally kicking his ass for coming up with something so downright unbelievable. Dean groaned aloud as he saw the boats, large enough for all five of them to sit in one, he begrudgingly slid onto the first bench in the boat and pulled Cas to sit next to him. He leaned forward to see the heavy duty tracks the boat was attached to.

"Why is it that only the cool rides and roller coasters are closed for maintenance when you want to ride them," Dean grumbled. "Why couldn't this one have been shut down for an hour or two?"

Sam smacked him in the back of the head before answering, "Maybe if you're lucky it'll break down while we're riding it and we can sit on this boat for the rest of the afternoon, making small talk and comparing the photos in our wallets."

Dean turned on his bench and glared at Sam. "Don't you dare jinx us, you know we already have incredibly bad luck—with everything Sam! Why would you say that," Dean asked loudly, his eyes wide with disbelief. "If this boat breaks down, I'm throwing myself overboard."

"I'll be a few seconds behind you," Jen said from her seat on the third bench. "What is this ride anyways?"

"It's a vegetable ride," Chris answered, reading from the map and list of exhibits. "It goes through some greenhouses and gardens, apparently Disney is trying to go green and grow their own produce for use in its restaurants. I guess they've teamed up with some other large science groups and companies, NASA being one of them."

"So, Mickey Mouse is teaming up with the space nerds so they can grow brussel sprouts on the moon," Dean commented as he threw his hands in the air. "Another brilliant way to spend a butt load of tourist trap money! Veggies in space, I can see the newest attraction already!"

Sam sighed deeply and rolled his eyes as Jen giggled from the back of the boat, a small smile working its way across Chris' face.

"Is your brother always this upset over vegetables," Chris asked Sam.

"Usually only if they're on a plate in front of him," Sam replied with a shrug.

The boat lurched forward, the automated guide beginning a recorded message about sustainability. As the double doors opened, a large overgrown greenhouse came into view. It looked like a jungle, complete with the high humidity that Dean hated. The sounds of a wild, untamed jungle became apparent as the doors closed behind them.

"Sam, if they keep howler monkeys in here, you're a dead man," Dean spat as he moved as far back on the bench as he could get without falling back on Sam.

"Relax man, it's just a recording. They're making it seem more authentic," Sam explained patiently. "It's just a greenhouse to showcase some of their work on larger scale. They do a lot of re-forestation and stuff, relax. Look at the plants and stuff and just chill out; jeez, should have left you locked in the bathroom."

"Hey I offered to stay behind," Dean commented.

"Dean, I have never known you to get so uncomfortable around plants before. After all, you have faced far worse adversaries than these moss covered trees," Castiel stated. "If you are afraid, you may hold my hand. TJ explained that is it very effective when he is upset or scared. You may hold my hand at this time."

Dean glowered at Cas' outstretched hand and slid to the far end of the bench. "I'm not holding your hand, Cas."

"If you feel the need, I am here," Cas replied. "You are safe with me."

Dean hunched down in his seat and folded his arms over his chest. The tour continued on, the next set of double doors opening to a greenhouse filled with thousands of plants tucked into plastic mesh, their roots hanging in the air while tiny hoses misted them with water.

"What in the devil's ass if this," Dean asked as he wiped a drop of water from his face.

"A hydroponic greenhouse, they're growing plants and veggies without dirt," Sam explained with a shake of his head. "Don't you ever watch anything other than porn?"

"Well, I'm sure this is like porn for you, Sammy," Dean snarked loudly. "The sheer sight of veggies hanging midair must be enough to make you—"

"Ouch! Why did you hit me," Dean cried out, rubbing the back of his head.

"Dean, there are kids in here," Sam hissed into his ear. "Keep it clean!"

"You're the one talking about porn," Dean exclaimed.

"Dean, I do not think the pornography you partake of has anything as wholesome as vegetables in it," Castiel said, joining the conversation. "After all, even the pizza man was only delivering a cheese pizza; not one with vegetables like Sam prefers to consume."

"Cas, that movie was so _not_ about the actual pizza being delivered," Dean remarked. "It was about the pizza delivery guy getting—"

"You! The guy in the Peter Pan shirt," a loud angry voice called out. Dean looked at the boat ahead of them and saw a man glaring back at him. He sneered at Dean and pointed to the little blonde girl sitting next to him and exclaimed, "I'm here with my daughter! You wanna keep your filth to yourself! You and your little Peter Pan butt-buddy better keep your traps shut before I come back there and shut them for you!"

"Fight," Jen yelled out from the back of the boat, standing on her seat as she held up a ten dollar bill. "I got ten on Dean! What've you got, Chris?"

Cas pointed towards the man and asked, "Dean, what does butt—"

Dean didn't say anything as he grabbed Cas' outstretched hand and shoved it down, clapping his other hand over his mouth. Cas continued to try and mumble around Dean's hand, the man continuing to stare at them, his mouth twisted into a snarl.

Ten shameful minutes later Cas, Dean, and Jen were sitting in a row on a bench outside the ride. Chris and Sam were looming over them, hands on their hips, their faces red with anger. Dean wanted to point out their identical bitch faces, but he was pretty sure Sam might punch him, hell, maybe Chris would too.

"How on Earth do you manage to do this, Dean," Sam exclaimed as he shoved a finger in Dean's face. "How do you get _**THROWN OFF A RIDE AT DISNEY WORLD**_?! The ride doesn't even last more than ten minutes total!"

"Skill," Dean asked with a shrug.

"Serious skills," Jen said; high fiving Dean with a smile.

"Besides, I wasn't the one in the water," Dean said as he motioned towards Chris.

Chris glared at Jen as he dramatically wrung more water from his shirt. "Yeah, Jen, just how did you manage to tie my shoe laces together? Were you planning on me falling out of the boat?"

With a serious expression, Jen replied, "Sometimes the universe is just on your side. Besides, I practiced while you were deployed. In fact, beware of the Jeep's glove compartment when you open it next."

"What did you do to my Jeep," Chris asked angrily. "When we get home—"

"You'll what," Jen snapped with a daring smirk. "Take my laptop—"

"Oh no," Chris said with a malicious smile. "Forget the laptop! Your books! Those crazy ones with the angsty looking dudes on the covers that you're always fawning over! Good luck finding them!"

"You wouldn't dare touch my books," Jen hissed as she stood up, standing almost eye to eye with Chris.

"Oh really," Chris said as he tapped Jen's shoulder forcefully, knowing just how to push her buttons. "Remember the one that got covered in grape soda? The one you thought Joey ruined? The No Rest for the Wicked volume, your gorram favorite?! Well, it was ME! I did it! And I smiled when it happened, dammit!"

Castiel sat calmly on the bench, hands folded in his lap as the group around him dissolved into something reminiscent of the chaos surrounding the fall of the Tower of Babel. Chris and Jen were arguing loudly, as Sam towered over Dean and pointed a finger in his chest while loudly talking about Dean's inability to have fun. Dean continued to openly mock Sam, making Sam's pointed finger turn into a balled fist.

He watched with great interest until Chris finally let out a loud whistle.

"Here's how this is going to go down," Chris explained loudly, as he pointed from Dean and Jen to the far distance. "You two jackasses can go ahead and blow off the rest of Epcot. You wanted your walking papers so badly? You got 'em! Get the frell out of here, before we stuff you both in a dumpster somewhere!"

Jen and Dean looked at each other uncertainly before Jen asked, "What will you guys do without us?"

"Oh Jeez! Well, let's see—probably actually have some fun without you two picking fights with us and every surrounding bystander," Chris stated as he pulled his map from his pocket. "You two can do whatever, we'll meet back at the hotel at 5pm so we can get ready for dinner. Maybe after enough booze, you two will be more tolerable!"

Dean and Jen slowly and cautiously began to walk away. Chris and Sam walked a few steps behind them, heading towards the next exhibit on the map. As they walked up to a large map of the park, Jen slowed down trying to figure out where the nearest monorail was. As she leaned down to look at the map, she felt a hand on the back of her head, the slight push just enough to unbalance her. The large map came rushing up at her, nothing to stop her descent expect her face.

"Ouch! Goddamn it! Chris," she exclaimed as she held her aching nose. "I'm bleeding now!"

"You'll be fine," Chris called out. "A little blood can only improve your Disney experience. See you at 5pm sharp!"

Chris and Sam rounded the corner as Sam caught Chris' arm. "Cas, we totally forgot about him," Sam said, his eyes wide at the thoughts racing through his head, of what Cas might have decided to do on his own.

Chris and Sam raced past Jen and Dean and headed for the bench they had abandoned Cas. They found him right where they had left him, his Peter Pan shirt and Mickey Mouse ears helping to disguise him from the nearby security guards.

"Cas, sorry man," Sam said apologetically. "Forgot about you back here."

"It is quite alright," Cas said plainly. "I knew that someone would come for me."

"So, what's the plan, Chris," Sam asked.

"I say we wander the park and see everything we can and have fun, before we have to meet up with our troublesome counterparts," Chris said with a smile. "Besides, I can't imagine that those two can keep out of trouble for long. I say we let them stew in their own juices."

Sam thought back to the other night when Dean had drunkenly danced in the fountain and ended up sitting the park security office while Sam had explained, and lied, to a fully grown man wearing a Goofy suit that Dean was typically non-violent and had suffered a traumatic incident as a child.

"Yeah, I give them two hours before we get a call to make bail for one or both of them," Sam said with a laugh.

Sam and Chris toured the park with Cas trailing behind, who was busy eating another ginormous bag of cotton candy and everything else that he could convince Sam to buy for him to try.

"We should get them back," Sam said slowly, thinking back to having to kiss Chris in the restaurant. "I think they deserve to suffer a little bit."

"I've got experience in this actually," Chris said smugly. "I've got military training, so pranking comes naturally. What have you got in mind?"

Sam was staring at Cas as he said, "Let's make a quick list of supplies we're going to need. We might need some divine help to pull this off."

An hour later, Chris and Sam were riding Space Mountain; their plan laid out down to the last detail.

"So…how is Cas going to make it all the way to the store and meet us back at the hotel when we get there," Chris asked curiously. "That's gotta be pretty darn impossible, does he even have a car?"

Sam didn't answer right away. "Cas has some impressive connections so he's got a quick way in and out of the park," Sam said confidently, lying about Castiel's real connections. "He's pretty discreet about it."

Chris nodded uncertainly as the roller coaster gained speed.

Meanwhile, near the Epcot entrance Dean was bouncing on the heels of his feet with excitement.

"This is gonna be great! I think this might be the only ride in here that was meant for my demographic," Dean exclaimed as yet another high speed car flashed past on the track above their heads, high in the air.

Jen was standing off to one side, one hand gingerly touching her swollen nose and busted lip, a frown etched into her face. "I don't know," Jen mumbled quietly. "Looks….fast….and high…."

"Looks totally awesome to me," Dean said excited as he pulled Jen towards the line. "Sam would hate this ride."

When Jen didn't answer, Dean took one look at her face and knew.

"Are you seriously afraid of roller coasters," Dean asked, shocked. "Cause this is hardly a roller coasters. It's just the Test Track. The cars are on tracks and stuff."

"It's just…kinda high," Jen said slowly as yet another car whizzed past overhead, the passengers screaming loudly.

"Jen! You're like practically six feet tall! How can you be afraid of heights," Dean exclaimed.

"Hey! It doesn't work like that, asshat," Jen snapped. "I'll go, I just want assurances I won't die."

"Sure, I'll be there, you'll be fine," Dean spouted confidently as he nudged her along in the line. "Besides, we have a few hours before we have to meet up at the hotel. We can do what we want, nothing educational though, right?"

"Yeah," Jen said, trying to sound more confident. She wasn't yet convinced that this Dean Winchester wasn't the real Dean Winchester, and she knew how many times he had escaped certain death. One roller coaster trip would be safe enough, right?

Within minutes they were strapped into a Test Car and being pulled through a series of controlled road hazards, accidents, and terrains. A woman's voice poured through the car's speakers, explaining the laboratory protocols that new car designs underwent before manufacturing.

Jen jumped in her seat as they rounded a sharp corner and a semi-truck came out of nowhere, lights and horns blaring through fake fog before it closely passed their car on the narrow track. Dean laughed at the road crash dummies and pointed to the evident fast track they were approaching. The loud speaker narrator suddenly increased in volume and began to repeat, "LEFT!"

"LEFT!"

"LEFT!"

"Dean! Why is the ride repeating itself," Jen yelled out.

"LEFT!"

"I have no clue," Dean yelled back. "Maybe it's malfunctioning!"

"What?! You said this ride would be fine," Jen cried out loudly.

"It's almost over anyways," Dean replied, yelling to be heard over the malfunctioning ride. "We just have to do the fast track, it ends after that!"

"LEFT!"

"The fast track," Jen repeated in disbelief. "But that is the fastest part and this ride is broken! I don't want to—"

"To late Jen! We're going," Dean yelled back as the car accelerated on the track and flew around the sharp corner.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaa—"

Meanwhile, a few hundred feet away:

"Does that sound like Jen and Dean to you," Sam asked aloud as he and Chris hurried into another line.

"Nah, they're probably back at the hotel by now," Chris said with a shrug. "Let's ride Space Mountain again too! Jen hates roller coasters so I never have anyone to go with."

A few hundred feet away , out of sight from their counterparts, Jen was busy heaving into a garbage can while Dean hovered overhead, trying to hold her short hair away from her face while also glaring at anyone who dared to give the duo anything more than a half second glance.

"I'm so ready for a drink," Jen said pitifully from her position over the garbage can.

"Let's head for the hotel," Dean replied. "We can hang out at the pool and get drunk."

"That sounds perfect," Jen mumbled. "Maybe we can make some trouble for Chris and Sam while we're there too."

Meanwhile, fifty miles away at a Super Target, Castiel was wandering the aisles with a list in one hand and a shopping basket in the other.

Per Sam's instructions, he had suddenly appeared in the men's restroom of the store and was trying to discreetly mingle with the shopping masses. He had already found several of the things on the list do to Sam's incredibly detailed list, including something called Vaseline, when he was approached by a store employee.

"Sir, can I help you find anything," the young woman asked.

Castiel straightened up, adjusting his trench coat over his shorts and Peter Pan shirt. He held out his list and said, "I was given precise instructions to find everything on this list. If you would check, I think I am doing quite well; however the last item's location and specifics are becoming problematic for me. I am on a tight schedule for Sam."

The young woman tentatively took the list from his outstretched hand and surveyed the items listed. She smiled mischievously at him after she finished reading the list of odd items, trying to imagine what his evening was going to consist of.

"This last item is in the Housewares section, I can help you find the exact one you need if you want help," she said cheerfully.

"Yes, that will be most helpful, as I said, I have a schedule to keep," Castiel replied.

As they walked together across the store, the clerk asked, "I take it you're into Peter Pan."

"Yes, the character and original story are quite interesting. It is one of the many literary works that showcases the human race's desire to defeat aging and death, but was written simplistically as a children's story so the feeble human mind could embrace such a concept. During the time of its creation, my garrison was charged with protecting Sir James Matthew Barrie to ensure that the book was written as intended. The creation of Peter Pan was a unique event ordained by God himself," Castiel explained.

He didn't see the weird look the store clerk cast him as she led him to the aisle he needed. "Okay, this is the one on your list," she said, picking out a small box and placing it in his hand. "That's everything you need?"

"My list says to procure orange dye," Castiel replied. "This is not orange."

"Well, it's just called Sunshine Orange," the clerk explained.

"No. My list says to procure orange dye, not Sunshine Orange dye," Castiel stated firmly. "You must take me to your orange dye at this time. It is imperative to my mission."

Castiel took the box in hand and stared at it. "This box does not contain the item I require," he replied firmly, looking disapprovingly at the young woman.

"Sir, this is the closest thing to '_orange_' we carry," the clerk stated, using her hands to emphasize her statement.

"Fine, it will have to do. Sam may be upset, but I will just have to make him aware that orange is not currently a description fit for dye," Castiel explained.

"Do you need anything else," the clerk asked.

"I am curious about the body language you exhibited a second ago, the movement with your hands and arms," Castiel said. He took his hands and tried to manipulate his fingers the same way she had.

"Oh, you mean air quotes, it's just something to help emphasize a certain word when speaking," the clerk explained, wondering if this guy was part of some prank.

"Very well then, I will make a note," Castiel said. "I am ready to leave. Sam gave me money; do I give it to you now?"

"I'll walk you up front," the young woman said as she directed Castiel to the front of the store and up to a register. She pointed Castiel to the register and waited for him to hand her the basket. As she rang up his purchases, she asked, "Is your friend Sam picking you up outside?"

"No, he is in Disney World with his new friend Chris, they engaged in a provoked kiss earlier today. I believe he and Chris will be using the items I have procured to extract revenge on Dean and Jen, who are currently getting intoxicated by the pool," Castiel stated in his monotone voice as he held out the handful of money that Sam had given him.

The store clerk nodded even as a confused look crossed her face as she sifted through the money. "Well, you got everything on your list, so good luck with all that," she stated as she placed his change back into his hand.

"I must thank you for not laughing at me," Castiel said. "Dean once sent me to the store with a list. Sam assured me it was a joke Dean made at my expense. Is there some sort of retail regulation that restricts someone from buying bananas, Vaseline, and duct tape all at the same time?"

The clerk did her best not to giggle or smile to widely as she said, "I'm not aware of any that do. Have a good day!"

Castiel gathered his bags and headed back towards the men's room. He hoped he wasn't going to be late getting back to Sam and Chris; he wanted to show Sam his crossed off list.

At the hotel pool, Dean and Jen were drunk.

Not tipsy.

Not buzzed.

Drunk.

So drunk that Dean had answered more than a few of Jen's questions about the Chuck's books.

"Do you know someone named John Winchester," Jen asked with a giggle as she watched another blue haired 'cougar' give Dean a look from across the pool. "Cause there's one of him in the books too!"

"Yep, him too," Dean slurred as he twirled a paper umbrella in his fingers, his head heavy against the lounge chair. "I bet I could kill a fugly with this tiny toothpick umbrella…..I should ask Bobby if it's ever been done."

"You know someone called Bobby," Jen exclaimed. "Wow, that Carver Edlund must have you guys under a tight radar! Cause there's one of him in the books…bet you guys can't take a dump without it showing up in one of those books!"

Dean snickered at the thought of Chuck downloading a vision of him taking a giant crap in some roadside diner.

"Yeah, good ole' prophets probably see some stuff they just don't wanna," Dean laughed. "Hey! He doesn't mention me showering, does he? Cause if he's getting visions of that, I'm gonna have to hunt him down and put him out of his misery."

"Speaking of misery, do you think we were to awful today to Chris and Sam," Jen asked as she watched Dean try to prick his finger with the toothpick umbrella.

"This might need to be sharpened….What? Oh, yeah, maybe," Dean said disinterestedly. "We did have some fun at their expense, so yeah, probably."

Jen drunkenly rolled her head towards him, "We should be better tomorrow. I'm gonna have to give Chris a massage or something to make this up to him."

Dean laughed loudly, "Dude! You framed him as a honeymoon having gay guy—with Sam of all people! I don't even want to know what kind of massage it takes to get buy forgiveness for something like that!"

Jen giggled and nodded, "Neither do I!"

Dean and Jen were to drunk to notice Chris and Sam sprinting along the pathway behind them, Castiel walking slowly behind, bags in hand.

Chris and Sam waited for Castiel to slowly climb the steps into Chris and Jen's tree house. Sam reached for the shopping bags, but Castiel held them tightly and said, "Sam, Chris, I have failed on the dye. They did not have orange, only something called Sunshine Orange."

"Dude, it'll be fine, it's close enough," Sam said as he pried the bags from Castiel's hands.

Castiel gave Sam a disapproving look and said, "I wish you would have been more specific about something not '_orange_' being '_just fine'_. It would have made my trip faster."

Sam stared at Cas in disbelief and asked, "Cas, did you just do air quotes? Where do you pick up this stuff? Did Dean teach you that? Seriously man, you have to stop letting him corrupt you."

"I picked it up at Super Target, where I picked up everything else," Castiel explained.

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. They divided up the items and Chris headed for the bathroom, dye in hand, a devious smile on his face. Sam grabbed his own bagful and called out, "Chris, meet you poolside in twenty minutes."

He pulled Castiel out the door and headed for their own tree house, the shopping bag held tightly in his hand.

Twenty minutes later, Sam and Chris were ushering their drunken companions up the stairs to their respective tree houses. "Dean, seriously man, you need a shower," Sam said, his nose wrinkled at the smell.

"Hey man, its hot out here, and you're the one who made me come to Florida. I hate Florida," Dean rebuked childishly.

"Doesn't matter. You need to get dressed so we can get a move on, we're meeting Jen and Chris in an hour so we can go out to dinner," Sam explained with a grin. With any luck, their well laid plans would work out.

Dean stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom and yanked the door open, looking back towards Sam as he said, "Good, cause I'm starved—"

Sam stood at the end of the hallway, arms crossed, and smiled as a loud THUD resounded down the hallway.

"Ow! Sam," Dean drunkenly yelled out. "Something's wrong with my bathroom. It's got a…force field or something….my door threw me down! Get in here!"

Sam slowly walked to the bathroom doorway and looked down at his older brother, who was sprawled across the floor. Dean was staring up at him, a bruise starting to form along his jaw, his eyes glued to the doorframe.

"Sam, what did you do," Dean accused.

"Nothing," Sam stated although his smile said otherwise.

"What am I looking at," Dean asked as he pointed with one unsteady hand.

"Plastic wrap," Sam said smartly. "Stretched over the doorway in such a way that your drunken ass never saw it coming. You, brother man, were taken down by a food storage device."

"Is this cause I made you kiss Chris," Dean asked as seriously as he could manage in his intoxicated state.

"What! No…..this one was just because you've been a dick this whole time," Sam said. "Get a shower. We're meeting them in a bit for dinner."

Dean was in the middle of shampooing his hair when he realized what Sam had said. "This one," he mumbled to himself. "What other one is there?"

Sam was standing by the front door, dressed and ready to go, when Dean angrily walked into the room.

"Ready to go," Sam asked innocently.

"No. I'm not. I can't go now," Dean said coolly.

"Oh, why not," Sam asked with a smile.

Dean glared at Sam and spastically waved an arm over his appearance.

"I have friggin orange hair, Sam! And an orange face! Orange _everything_, thanks to you," Dean yelled.

Sam burst out laughing at Dean's orange appearance and opened the front door.

"Actually, Dean, the orange makes your….freckles stand out," Sam said with a snicker. "Get your shoes. And don't say no, because I think Jen might like some moral support tonight."

"Moral support," Dean asked, suddenly confused.

"What, did you think I was the only in need of some revenge," Sam asked.

Dean sighed deeply and glared at Sam. "Fine, but you better watch your back," he stated.

"Dean, if you can think up anything better than this, I say bring it," Sam snarked.

"What about Cas, where is he," Dean asked as he looked around the room.

"He said he was going to watch Cars again tonight, along with two other movies. I already made him popcorn, got him candy galore; he'll be fine here," Sam explained. "Now quit stalling and come on!"

Across the pathway, in the opposite tree house, Chris was impatiently tapping his foot.

"Jen, come on, Sam and Dean are walking up now," Chris called out. "Let's go!"

"I don't want to go," Jen whined loudly from behind the bathroom door.

"Tough, get dressed and get out here," Chris said with a thump on the door.

Chris opened the door and smiled at Dean's orange face. He and Sam exchanged a small smile as they filed into the room. They stood silently waiting for Jen, knowing what to expect.

Sam and Chris exchanged a silent look of triumph as Jen slowly walked into the room, her face and hair matching Dean's perfectly, the orange dye covering all but a tiny bit of her pink hair.

"I see you got some orange revenge as well," she muttered to Dean as she pulled a hat over her hair. "This sucks! It's gonna take days to come off!"

"Days," Dean exclaimed. "No, I'm staying in my room until it's gone!"

"No, Dean," Sam interjected. "We're going out for the evening. Drinks, cigars, dinner; let's go!"

Dean and Jen were forced to walk ahead, Sam and Chris walking behind, laughing, and comparing their results with the plastic wrapped doorways.

"Hey! You two look like those things from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory—Oopah Loopahs! Yes! That's it," Chris called out. Sam burst out laughing as Jen and Dean simultaneously turned around and glared at them.

"Hey Sam! Check this out, remember the song from the movie—Oompah Loompah doobadie doo, I've got a riddle to ask of you: what do you do when your spouse in an ass, making you feel like you're stupid and crass," Chris sang out, following the tune perfectly.

Jen and Dean ignored the outburst of laughter from behind them, exchanged looks and rolling their eyes.

"Chris! I got one—Oompah Loompah doobadie doo, I've a riddle to ask of you: what do you do when your brother's a jerk? Bitching and moaning when you take him off work," Sam sang aloud.

As laughter erupted behind them, Dean leaned toward Jen and said, "I hope you didn't already give Chris that massage, cause you might wanna hold off on being nice for a while."

Jen snorted and shook her head. "Asshole asked for a massage before I got my shower," she said.

Hours later, long after the cigar bar had closed, Dean and Jen were stumbling down the sidewalk, Chris and Sam a few yards behind them.

"Man, the dye thing was a brilliant idea," Sam commented. "Can't believe I've never done it before now."

"The only bad thing is we're the ones who have to look at their orange faces for the next few days," Chris replied as another drunken round of oompah loompah doobadie doo floated down the pathway. "But all in all, I think we did a good thing today. I think that deep down; they may have had some fun too."

"God, I hope so," Sam said with a sigh. "If this doesn't make him loosen up, I might have to start medicating his coffee."

As they passed through the lobby and headed towards the door to the outdoor tree house suites, Sam paused and did a double take.

"Hey guys, hold up a minute," he called out as he quickly walked towards the lobby counter.

"Cas, what are you doing out here," Sam asked as he looked from Cas, who was still wearing his trench coat over his Peter Pan shirt, to the confused looking night receptionist.

"Sam, I think I have taken care of the problem on my own," Cas explained proudly. "I dropped the remote to the television and apparently hit a button somehow. The movie is no longer playing. I haven't finished it yet."

"Would you kindly send someone to correct this unfortunate error I have made," Castiel asked the receptionist.

"Certainly, sir," the woman said with smile.

Sam could see the twitch on Cas' face and groaned, knowing there was no way to stop him. Cas pulled his lips back to expose his teeth, his eyebrows lifting high on his forehead, his eyes bulging out of his head, all in another hideously terror-striking smile.

Sam watched as the woman's own smile faltered as she reached for the phone.

"Ma'am, we can take care of it," Sam interjected. "You don't need to send anyone to our room."

"If you're sure, sir," she said, still mesmerized by Castiel's contorted smile.

"Yes," Sam said as he grabbed Cas's arm and pulled his away from the startled young woman.

"Sam, I think my smile was most effective that time," Castiel stated confidently.

"Yeah, if you were going to terror induced heart attack," Sam replied as he motioned for Cas to rejoin their group.

"So Cas, what movie were you watching," Dean asked with a yawn.

"Dean, you and Jen look quite ill, you look orange in fact," Castiel remarked as the leaned uncomfortably close to examine Jen's orange face.

"We're fine, Cas. What movie were you watching ," Dean asked again.

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," Cas said. "Sam said it was going to be necessary that I memorize some of the lines for the next few days. I am not yet sure I understand why."

"You'll see, Cas," Sam replied with a smirk. "It's the song you need to learn."

Dean glared back at Sam and muttered, "Bitch."

**Hey you there! Wanna see the awesome Oopah Loopah pic of Jen and Dean,go check out **** the Supernatural FanFiction Writer's Page found on Facebook! See you there! **

**Okay wonderful readers, you took the time to read it, please spare a second to review it! Thank you!**

**Wow, this has been one monster chapter! Over 9,000 words! **

**Thanks to Winjennster for her tempered patience with this chapter's completion as well as providing some of the pranks. Mostly just for not killing me because of how long it took to write this...**

**Also, thanks to Chris for the help with the car details, rit dye, plastic wrap, and _especially_ the oompah loopah songs! Totally made the dyeing worthwhile! **

**Also, thanks to McHuberson for help with Castiel's Target experience! ;) **


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